Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

c.u.r.i.o.u.s. ?

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I’m a very curious boy since i was young. Even a small tiny detail could light my curiosity up and made me spend hours pondering on them. Thinking back, my curiosity capacity was at the peak when i was between 7 to 12 years old. However, without my awareness, my curiosity suddenly became ‘idle’ for the next 8 years. Perhaps, i was too overwhelmed by so many unanswered questions that i found it so pointless to be curious anymore then. But thanks to the Internet and emergence of Web 2.0, where knowledge and discussions are so accessible, I recovered my curiosity back 2 years ago when i came across a forum. The topic of the thread happened to be discussing something which i had intently contemplate when i was 7 years old – Does God exist?

Suddenly, i realised everything i questioned when i was a kid have meaningful answers in this Internet age. After spending 3-4 months reading about religion and scientific(evolution) point of view, i drew my own conclusion that religion’s God should not exist (i wasn’t 100% convinced back then). But if religion is not the answer to the existence of humanity & universe, what is the real answer? And that leads me to all of my current interests such as physics, science, astronomy, philosophy, psychology, neuroscience, etc. which point to a common theme –  How, & Why does the universe and life exist?

Gifted with strong memory, i could remember all the things i’d pondered on when i was a kid. Apart from God, i also questioned :-

  • I noticed from a picture of heaven and hell that God, Deities and devil are depicted very traditionally. If Heaven and Hell exist, do they follow earthly technological advancement? Meaning, does car exist in heaven right now? Do devils use gun now instead of fork to torture the ‘sinful’ people in hell? Will God dressed in T-shirt instead of traditional robes?
  • If i dig a hole here all the way to the other side of the earth, will i still be considered as an illegal immigrant? (the answer is yes :P)
  • I played around with some rice in a bucket. There are plentiful of rice in the bucket. I take away one grain of rice and it will still be plentiful. But if i consistently taking away one grain of rice at a time, to what extent it will no longer be considered as plentiful?
  • I wondered why am i scared of cockroach when these little friends do not hurt me (yes, i’m still frightened by cockroach now). In fact, i’m terrified with almost all kind of insects (except for ant, fly and mosquito). Why do i like dogs and rabbits but not insects?
  • Why did the moon and stars follows me wherever i go?
  • Why can a fish breathe in water but human cant’? (i experimented it myself and got myself choked lol)
  • Why can’t i grab water?
  • Can i shout so loud, the other side of the earth hear me?
  • Is there a way to burn rubbish without emitting smoke?
  • My mum could always tell that i’m bluffing and predict what i’m gonna up to. I always suspected that she has some psychic ability listening to my inner voice.
  • I was standing roughly 4-5 metres away from the TV. I stretched my arm forward, and by extending my palm, i could blocked the TV from my vision. Compared to the size of my palm, the TV is so small. But as i move forward, the TV gets bigger and bigger, and as i stood right in front of the TV, my palm is so much more smaller compared to the TV. Why?
  • I thought of something exactly like the Zeno’s paradox of the Achilles and Tortoise (conceptually). Up to this day, i still can’t find a reason why was i thinking about that.


And some other lamer and nonsensical stuffs. I think it is rather a blessing to have such curious mind. I always thought it is natural for everyone to be curious on everything, but as i grow up i realised not everyone has the higher level of curiosity in them.

In my next post, i will post an explanation to one of the mysteries i came across during my childhood – why do human have different looks but cats, dogs and rats all look the same?


Written by elan85

November 24, 2007 at 8:14 pm

Posted in Personal

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