Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

Love Is An Illusion?

with 98 comments

Many years ago, i’d observed that older couples are less loving towards each other compared to younger couples. Naturally, i asked myself .. why so? I could have settled for a simpler answer like – the feeling has faded or they no longer love each other or whatsoever. However, i refused to. I remembered myself absurdly asking my female friends about this (to get some female perspectives) during our casual conversations. But i wasn’t satisfied with the answers… and soon, i gave up. It was only in recent years, i finally found the answer for this old little puzzle of mine. And i have to thank Mr. Arthur Schopenhauer for this.

To Schopenhauer, the ultimate purpose of human being is to breed and have children and continuing the next generation. Everything in our life is geared towards that goal. The survival of species is the ultimate quest in all living creatures. It’s biological, it’s instinctive, it’s in our Will, something which is beyond our conscious control. Not surprisingly, his work inspired the work of latter generation such as the study of subconscious mind by Sigmund Freud and Evolution by Charles Darwin.

Schopenhaeur said falling in love is a ‘blind biological urge’ in us – love is basically an illusion which pull men and women together. Love in our mind is magical, sweet, sensational and is a symbol of happiness. But little did we know that these emotions come together with Love as a whole ‘package’. When human are able to derive positive emotions out of something, we gain satisfaction. And this satisfaction is what keep our desire alive. It’s instinctive, and we are basically slaves to our own instinct and desire (Schopenhauer called it Will).

Schopenhauer believed that the truth is ugly. Marriage is a trap to confine couples together. Living as a husband and wife means halve both of their rights and double the duties. Having children will require the couples to put in more effort and resources to maintain the family.

Therefore, only a force as strong as Love can ‘blind’ us, bringing men and women together in a same roof. When we are finding our potential partners, we do not think of making babies with them, rather, we think of Love. It seems that we have no choice but to fall in love and the illusion of love (which gives extreme positive emotions) will conveniently wipe away all the misery of a married life and having babies. Schopenhauer’s magic word – Biological is stronger than Reasons.  Buddha’s magic word – Emotion arise from Desire, hence an Illusion.

This perfectly answered the question i had and i think it is safe to conclude the reason why older couples are still together is due to respect and responsibility rather than still genuinely loving each other. I always believe human are polygamous by nature. But due to the development of human culture (of the different role between men and women), and more importantly the influence of religion such as Christianity, the nature rule has been replaced by human rule, thus championing the monogamous way.

I whole heartily agree with Schopenhauer’s reasoning on love. However, i’m sure i will never follow his way of remaining single and living in solitude life till the end of my day. I do want to have a life-long companion (wife) and a family. This is my reasoning – if human are biologically a social animal and hardwired to fall in love, then why should we go against the nature? As Schopenhaeur said, Biological is stronger than Reasoning, hence if we insist on following the literal Reasonings, wouldn’t it be a challenging difficulty for human to adapt to this deprived-of-instinct-fulfillment-life? Wouldn’t it be a distress to live in a life where at one hand, we can’t take love seriously as we know it is just an illusion and on the other hand, we persistently being pestered by our biological instincts to fall in love. We would be trapped in a no-man’s land. That to me, is a miserable lose-lose situation. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss, no?

As much as i love and respect Schopenhauer’s philosophical works, i can’t help but to think that he is a miserable pessimist who was trapped between logic and his inner feelings. You could just see how pessimist he was towards humanity and nature by reading the quote below, something which he said on his death-bed.

If God made this world, then i would not want to be the God. It is full of misery and distress that it breaks my heart. –Schopenhauer

I had a wicked thought while i was writing this blog post. I questioned, why do parents are willing to put their lives at stake in order to protect their children? In many circumstances, the parent may even trade life to make sure the survival of their children. It seems divine and noble in the first glance. But it is not logical.

  • If the parents are willing to sacrifice themselves, despite saving their children, they lose their lives. Not only that, they will have absolutely no control over the fate of their children once they are dead. (if later on the children faced danger again and die, then the sacrifice of the parents will be futile.)
  • If the parents are not willing to sacrifice themselves, their children will die but the parents are able to retain their lives. If they are healthy enough, they could breed again and replace the dead children with new children. They could oversee the growth of these new children and will able to drive their fate to a certain direction.

Isn’t it logical to choose the latter option rather than the former one? But many parents will choose the first option, much to the influence of our instinct. I may sound a little sadist and not politically correct, but i’m only treating this just as a daily thought-exercise, nothing more. Period.

This gave me a little idea that human are not 100% rational and logical as we would like to believe in ourselves. I have not thought much about it yet, but i’m damn sure this will be a very interesting post to write in the future.

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Written by elan85

February 16, 2008 at 3:33 am

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology

98 Responses

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  1. […] you can’t help but to think love is just more of a body and mind reaction. After all, love is just an illusion. If everybody falls in love, what makes you think your love is so super special compared to others? […]

    • Hi there,

      I enjoyed reading your perspective on love written in March 2008. I know nothing about you, except that I read this one article, and my guess is that you are a young man in your early to mid 20’s. Am I right?

      Now is 3.5 years later so you have grown and developed yourself further. I was going to reply to this post in depth but then I thought you your perspective may have developed since March 2008.

      I would like to respond, but first I would like to know if there as anything you have learned or would like to change. 🙂

      James Blackburn

      November 22, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    • Brilliantly written. Its logical, factual and comes to the point.

      gretske

      January 9, 2015 at 3:47 am

    • The promise of love is indeed the most effective tool for deception. Such deception can linger for a life time. But the bigger Question is WHAT IS LOVE, is it far fetched from emotionall desire, or just a feeling of excitement unexplained.
      Many embark on a quest of finding love, not knowing what love really is….Perhaps the purpose of love is to bind the universe in an unexplainable trap……
      Read more in this exclusive post.
      https://godfreydamabel.com/2016/05/26/is-love-real-or-is-an-illusion/

      Damabel

      June 7, 2016 at 4:28 am

  2. This only expresses how I’ve lived my life for 10 years. Power is the only reason for true life. Embrace it.

    Regulus591

    July 1, 2008 at 8:14 am

    • Power is an illusion.

      Nobody

      January 21, 2010 at 4:05 am

      • Pure Power, doesn’t power trip ; p

        pR

        May 26, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      • I agree.

        Bob Arthur

        September 19, 2012 at 7:49 am

      • Power is almighty. Power is the reason why the illusion can exist. We are all powered by something. The fact that some think that power is an illusion is the illusion itself.

        Jason

        July 1, 2014 at 4:26 pm

  3. In regard to your parental sacrifice argument, perhaps it’s evolution based. Considering life-spans used to be considerably shorter and the birthing of a child was sometimes life threatening the continuation of genes could have favored parents that would sacrifice themselves for their children. I believe that parents see children as a continuation of themselves, instinctively.

    Aeonic

    October 24, 2008 at 4:24 am

  4. Romantic love is two people projecting onto each other, and mirroring that projection, for so long as it takes a child to be born and raised.

    Think about it: the “honeymoon period” subsides when the bonding chemicals do, which is typically up to two years, long enough to get pregnant, maintain the pregnancy, and birth the child. (All periods when a woman’s mobility is reduced and she requires more food for functioning = therefore needs a protective, hunting, man.)

    Unfortunately, the way we’ve set up nuclear families in our society, the expectation is that two people will live physically and emotionally closely for 50+ years; long after the bonding chemicals have subsided. To me, this is absurd – and pointless.

    Romantic love is a high, anything after the “honeymoon period” ends is a mutually advantageous contract for raising children in *our* society (it’s preposterous that child-raising falls on the shoulders of one person in Western “civilisation”), an obligation, and more often than not a habit against loneliness that is rewarded by governments and peers.

    There’s nothing wrong with that — but I wish people wouldn’t pretend that it’s otherwise.

    Lady Bird

    October 29, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    • Very well put. I hope to one day meet a lady as intelligent as you.

      Robert

      June 15, 2010 at 1:51 am

    • All you people who believe this, are scum. You just want a reason to f* multiple people, and maintain an illusion of self respect.

      Jared

      January 17, 2014 at 11:12 am

      • Yea ! So true !
        Its an “all about me” society !
        Even if it hurts someone…
        Faithful and monogamous are obsolete words these days.
        Sad.

        Ladybluebird

        February 3, 2014 at 9:54 pm

      • So you mad???

        Jason

        July 1, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      • Ad hominems always serve as a brilliant counterargument!

        north1085

        May 13, 2016 at 10:50 pm

  5. Thank you for writing this entry. I’m going through a similar struggle for finding meaning…

    Lady Bird…I would be interested in reading more of anything you have to say. I’m not too familiar with the ‘wordpress’ site, do you have your own blog?

    Tiffany

    March 3, 2009 at 4:10 am

    • the information that Lady Bird has laid out here is all covered in M Scott Peck’s ‘The Road Less Travelled’. A brilliant book.

      jess

      April 21, 2010 at 2:47 pm

  6. Emotions arise from Desire, thus making it an illusion. Love is simply and emotion, which is categorized to cure all evils. However, not all ailments, especially that of evil intent, can be cured with love. I have found it hard to believe more than ever, than an emotion which is suppose to fly you to the top can bring you so down. Because it was an emotion that arose from desire creating illusion(s) and leaving the soul unfulfilled.

    It is my opinion that you are no sadist, but a realist and your blog comes as an interesting point of view. It is true, humans are not always so reasonable, so just.

    Electrolyte

    July 18, 2009 at 10:21 pm

  7. awesome man, this is one of the best articles i have ever read.

    Joel

    September 4, 2009 at 11:15 pm

  8. yep, love is a biological illusion, one of many such illusions created by the human mind in a meaningless universe. every few years the hormones become too powerful to suppress with reason, and when the regrettable romantic “interlude” is over, i say “wtf just happened?!?” lol yeah, you’re better off just living a life of thought & productive activity & leaving ‘love’ to the brainless breeding cattle of the general public – it’s what they’re here for!

    jon dow

    December 1, 2009 at 5:44 am

    • An interesting point of view. Love may be a form of natural drug. The drug can produce a high, possibly followed up by a type of crash (down period) if and when the supply is cut (if the relationship ends). If every man could have gauranteed access to three young females regardless of income, we would likely all opt for the drug, becoming hedonistic addicts in the process. Because it is not free, nor garanteed, some choose to do without it. As Schopenhauer said, its a tough, harsh world where you are lucky to get the minumum requirements to stay alive.

      Robert

      June 12, 2010 at 8:02 am

  9. “A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist”

    Thomas

    December 19, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    • A pessimist and a realist are 2 different things actually.
      A pessimist sees the dark in the tunnel, an optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees the light comes from a train, and there’s a fourth who says ‘I don’t care what happens, I just want to go forward in this damn tunnel and see what’s on the end of it’, giving no care to the oncoming train.

      Vuk91

      December 20, 2013 at 10:16 pm

  10. […] This article presents an interesting view on love.  Maybe love has no special meaning after all, it is only the urge for us to reproduce.  Maybe the concept of love is exaggerated by culture or religion.  Sorry, my mind is not very clear at the moment, and I admit I am a little confused, but I will come back once I get my thoughts sorted. […]

  11. If you are a real estate professional, be really careful in dealing with KoRes Corp. in Weston Florida. Tulio Rodriguez & Monica Cataluna-Shand are shysters and look for anyway to steal ones customers. They attempt to steal your client by requesting their contact information and later contact them behind your back to get them to deal with them directly.

    Praitrant

    May 3, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    • what does this post have to do with the article? Seriously…..

      T

      October 26, 2012 at 5:12 pm

  12. On the matter of “parent dies for child” you missed out the third potential deviant.

    – Parent dies for child, child lives and breeds successfully (with more advanced genetics (theory of evolution)).

    It’s not an entirely negative option to take!

    David

    June 2, 2010 at 5:16 am

    • I don’t think you understand that well enough. 1st Children are too young to breed, and 2nd, isn’t the sacrifice happening with the children, to be protected, nearby? When the killer, after murdering the parents, could easily kill the children too, immediately? And for 3rd why not getting the children and running away be a far better option to be a third option? And even that has its risks.

      Vuk91

      December 20, 2013 at 10:13 pm

      • The Parent’s might “sacrifice” themselves just to avoid facing the situation of watching/dealing with their kids being slaughtered and their reality breaking down before their very eyes.
        That’s a possibility too…

        theothermeya

        August 19, 2016 at 5:45 am

  13. I am a huge fan of Schopenhauer, and I also studied Buddhism, Taoism and 20 other philosophers. I think love is a state of mind that young breeding age humans enter into. The brain injects endorphines in to the blood stream when you date, kiss, get to third base, hit a home run. You keep doing it to get the endorpine flowing. Children are the result of all that activity. The human body is programmed to, eat, breathe and seek out a female to breed with. Schopenhauer was right about many things, and some say more good things came from him than from any other philosopher except Plato. Concerning protecting your children, I would die to save my son without hesitation. It must be insticnt, because I am so sure I would do it. He would no longer have a parent protecting him, but he would be alive. Children orphaned at two or three sometimes manage to reach old age. The young are very resilient. My two cents.

    Robert

    June 12, 2010 at 7:52 am

  14. I have been swinging between the “truth/facts of biology” and “love/devinity” for a long time now. I know that love is an illusion (right amount of money, grooming, humour, sweet lies …). My heart keeps pushing me to play the “game of love”. With effort, I bring myself to put on the face of a “player”, but my rational brain does not let me play it for more than few minutes. At the slightest amount of setback, it jumps right out with a cold explanation “Fool! Didnt I already told you? You knew it. You still played it! Now take the pain”. I feel like I am being torn into two parts.

    Ponderer

    August 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm

  15. […] Love Is An Illusion? « Struggling with Meaninglessness. […]

  16. English is not my first language so forgive me:

    Love is not an illusion. The definition of illusion is the distortion of the senses.

    The only reality that exists is this reality you experience. If love is an illusion then that can be extended to life as well. And anything. And everything. Including learning and thought itself.

    I am a great believer in Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. By virtue of being human, there are several things that we need. Those needs are real. As real as reality can get.

    One of them is love. Friendship etc.

    We have reached a point in evolution where we now question our own existence. I find it interesting that one could put so much value in the act of learning and thinking and put such little value on emotion. If life is meaningless then so is thinking. And if you think that love is only for the simple minded, why do you value your mind which you think is complex and not value a mind which is simpler?

    You can go around and around in circles playing the why game. If the conclusion is that life has no meaning then why even live?

    I have gone back and forth in circles of thinking. From a Christian optimist to an atheist realist until I found an answer that satisfied me. And of course it will not satisfy everyone but here goes.

    The cell. It must consume. And then reproduce. As it reproduces it forms relationships with other cells. These cells become complex organisms. They thrive and move forward.

    Eventually they become animals. Which mimic the very thing they’re made of. The reptile is all about self. Even eating it’s young. Insects and fish are all about the community. Several selfs acting as one large school or colony. The ant and the bees give birth to a primitive form of society. Which becomes an organism within itself. While the reptile will even eat it’s own offspring the ant will commit suicide to protect their own queen.

    The mammals. The larger brains. There is the need to look out for number one. The self. But there is also a need to bond with the young. And form groups. A mouse living on it’s own will die without other mice to interact with.

    Enter the human. An animal. His large brain the manifestation of a long period of evolution. He achieves self awareness. He creates God. He creates complex society. States and nations. War. Death.

    Then man begins to question the existence of God.Which leads him to question everything that he created.

    I believe that existential pondering serves an evolutionary purpose. It’s not simply there so that we can say that we are smarter than others. So that we can get out of relationships after they lose their spark. So that we can wallow in our own self pity or live a life of hedonism and debauchery.

    We question our existence because from a survival point of view, eventually we will break down all that separates us. Religion. Nationality. Tradition. So that we may unite as the human race and not a planet of different races.

    Everything the human being does, everything that all living things do are to the advantage of the species. We must deconstruct society and God in order to find God.

    We are the only sentinent beings that we know of. We are the only ones who can observe the Universe. Did the universe exist before it could even be perceived by us? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?

    I truly believe that love is more real than any philosophy. I believe it binds the universe together. Science has freed us from all the false institutions we have created so that we could come full circle. Through string theory. Through higher conciousness. We find God again. Not the God of religion, but the God within us. The higher conciousness.

    We are like the reptile. We must be selfish. We must look out for ourselves. Do what makes us happy. Do what satisfies us. But we are also like the ants. The cells that make up our bodies. We are part of bigger organism. We are also mammals. We have bonds and love others. The less conditions we place on that love the higher version of ourselves we can become.

    So try loving someone. People in arranged marriages are often happier and get along better than people in so called love marriages. Try and love someone after the spark is gone. Try and love them unconditionally. You will always lust for others but I would rather be the old bickering couple that still holds hands in the park than Hugh Hefner. With all his lust satisfied but no real love or probalby even real friends around him.

    Existentialism is fun for awhile. It makes you feel cool. Superior to the simpletons. But the more interconnected you realize the entire universe is. That you cannot chose your own meaning but that meaning is always being imposed upon you. The essence of life becomes clear. more than just to reproduce and eat and sleep and then die. It is to love. To be the best person you can be. But also contribute to the larger species you are apart of. And although death may bring the end of your conciousness your organic matter will decompose and become something else. The circle of life. So there is no real death but constant rebirth. Your face will still be there in the memories of the ones you love. YOu will be apart of them. You are the product of the billions of poeple who lived before you and you will be part of the billions of people who come after you. Or whatever higher version of ourselves we will evolve into someday.

    Our bodies enjoy selfishness but our body tells us through that “empty feeling” that there is so much more to life. Love fills the gap. Our body rewards us when we are in love. We should listen to it. It punishes us when we are depressed or feeling sorry for ourselves.

    Love is all there is.

    why ask why

    October 3, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    • I read your post, and I think you can see fairly clearly. There is still some illusion left in what you are saying, but only a little. We evolved over 10,000,000 years with hunting, gathering, eating, sleeping and breeding being top priorities. Life was harsh and tough without central heating, grocery stores, TVs and SUVs. Being part of a small tribe was critical to breeding and survival. Tribal living was the norm for 1,000,000 years. When breeding pairs formed, they at some point elected to call it love. Today, in the human zoo, there is a huge surplus of men. Greedy capitalists are using our ancient tribal instincts to create tiny pockets of Utopia for themselves, while good men sweat in factories to pay rent, taxes and bills. They do this 40 years of toil primarily to find and secure a breeding partner. Finding love in such a corrupt environment is difficult, unless you are young and susceptable to delusion. Einstien said that reality itself is actually an illusion, although a persistant one.Love is almost certainly an illusion that is built around our primordial instinct to breed, and the thickness of your wallet. No wallet, usually means no love. Since most, if not all, great philosophers (i.e. realists) were single, strongly suggests that love is an illusion. When I see two 50 year olds holding hands, I sometimes feel like handing them dunce caps.

      Robert

      October 5, 2010 at 2:42 am

      • I believe you are both right.Love IS an illusion.. 🙂 infact LIFE is an illusion aswell, a trip and its beautifull..only thanx to love though we can evolve into something that would be worth it.. we are the creators of our illusions.. We are the higher counsciousness, (Individual selfs, eyes of the universe which is the whole)we have the ability to see the creation, perceive it, feel it and shape it. We are an illusion but that doesnt mean that we dont exist.

        Max Gnidovsky

        July 5, 2014 at 9:00 am

    • I found this site in search of some solace after a love ended without closure and the other person had asked me at the end “Did I think it was an illusion?” I enjoyed reading the original writers work but as I read the reply of “why ask why” I no longer had need to read any of the remaining replies. Well written. (period) Thanks for taking the time to write this.

      Seeking Solace

      December 22, 2011 at 6:38 am

  17. If there was no love why would you’d come to this forum in the first place? The answer might be that we need love regardless if it’s true. I don’t really care if it is unreal and I’d rather feel it than find a logical
    interpretation for it to be an illusion. Does it solve your problem?:)

    man zoo

    November 8, 2010 at 6:42 am

    • You are honest. Your reply is simple and in some ways very accurate and to the point. I have a theory that to stay alive, a certain threshhold amount of endoropine needs to be in the bloodstream of the organism. If the endorphine level gets too low, depression can conceivably set in. People trapped in POW camps for example can get to dangerously low endorphine levels. In the modern world, smoking, fun, games, sex, love, beer, wine, entertainment, music, exercise, socializing and thrills are all used to keep endorphine levels up. Sex is the most powerful drug that I know of, and you need the illusion of love to get a steady supply of it. Its no wonder everyone is trying to find love. The problem lies in the fact that love is as rare as unicorns, fleeting and ephemeral, and sometimes a sharp razor that leaves your soul to bleed (The Rose). Read Schopenhauer. He figured out the complex puzzle of love. It’s a deception.

      Robert

      November 9, 2010 at 12:37 am

  18. There is nothing worse when a man makes a fool of himself, by coming to a girl with an open heart, telling her thanks for giving a feeling that he has not felt for a very a long time.

    Love doesn’t exist. Why? Because I have personal proof and belief that women do not look for the guy who would make them happy or would die for her. They look for the guy who would treat them like shit, and that’s the truth. I’ve been in love three times in my life, always did not work out. These are the reasons why? Recently, I liked this girl very much, despite her reputation as a slut. When we talked I saw something different in her. I saw her personality, and her beautiful smile. She was not what people thought; at least that’s what I believed. We talked not much, but still you can create a connection to someone by asking the right questions. However, I told that I liked her, and before I said it I dedicated a song to her. She liked the song, but she did not like me. Well, let’s cut to the chase. Later after several tries, she betrayed my trust and feelings by telling everyone that we both knew that I’m gay and many other things even though I had feelings for her. I’m not gay, if I was I will admitted and live with that. But, this is what leads me to believe that love and all that crap does not exist. I’m a guy who dreams to die for the women he loves, literally scarifies everything that I posses. Is it gay? Furthermore, I would give her flowers every chance that I will have without even think it or planned. I’ve done it, and what I got in return is a “we should see other people”. Well, ladies stop with the bullshit. You don’t want this kind of guy in your life. You want someone who is rich, someone who will betray you every chance he gets or someone who treats you like shit. That’s the truth. I’m not an ordinary guy, or a pig, but I’m becoming one thanks to you ladies, and it feels great. Now I use these romantic ideas just to get girls into bed, and its working great. That’s the truth, who would tell me otherwise is just an idealist and should give up as I did, because the society and the “modern” days that we live, the word love does not exist. People are becoming more superficial every day. The ignorance has taken over on the young people, who think being popular, and having a nice car, and having a nice cell phone would make them god. The ideas for fun today is going to a bar getting drunk and having sex. What happened to the old days, when a guy and a girl before they had sex, would go to an outdoor picnic, or to concert, or to a dancing class together and many other things. No, today is other way around, have sex and then get to know the guy or girl.

    Well ladies and gentleman this the reality where we live, for most people it works out great, and for those who believe in the ideas of love or friendship, and romanticism need to wake up, and stop living in the illusions that existed a long time ago.

    This letter it goes out to everyone (men/women) in my case is just for the women

    eric

    January 13, 2011 at 6:00 am

    • I’m sorry those women hurt you. I can empathize with what you are feeling. I have been told that I’m loved, romanced, sweet talked, but all it was was an attempt to get me into bed. Luckily, I didn’t fall into bed with the guy, but I did fall deeply, madly in love with him. I could have been his partner, been sweet to him and taken care of him for a very long time. He obviously did not feel this way in return, but that’s okay. There are more fish in the sea, and there are others out there who actually do want love, kindness, sweetness and a stable committed relationship. Anyways, I realize your post is about a year old now. I hope you’ve found someone to that appreciates your kind and thoughtful ways. There are many women who would consider themselves lucky to find a man like yourself, but unfortunately there are just as many that are immature and don’t know what a good man is when they see him. I hope you find someone to be happy with.

      PennyLane

      December 14, 2011 at 7:34 am

    • Like u I’m a romantic kinda guy and I refuse to be in a relation that is based on money or looks etc but I believe that there must be women out there that think the same as we do and maybe your romantic ideas did work on the wrong kind of people again they could be the kind that u have been searching for maybe u dropped your principles when u were so close
      Getting girls to your bed won’t make u happy and I’m talking about real happiness at the end it remains a choice and there is nothing wrong with being an idealist because it mean that u stand up for something bigger than urself something like the greater good in this case it’s finding the right person for u and avoiding hurting other people
      U only lose what u don’t deserve because maybe u deserve better .
      Sorry English isn’t my first language

      Nimos

      May 19, 2016 at 6:48 am

  19. Quote: “This gave me a little idea that human are not 100% rational and logical”

    Well, there’s a news flash, LOL! Anyone who is an observer of the human condition (or a fan of Samuel Beckett or Monty Python) has long been aware of this.

    Speed

    February 14, 2011 at 1:52 am

  20. Um..you provided clear evidence that love is an illusion and then you turn around and ask why go against it. After that you made a case for why you still want to fall in ” love “and have a companion/family. So, I figure your question was rhetorical,but I do have an answer. Asking why we should go against our nature is like asking why should we go against pain and suffering, or murder,or rape, all of these are in our nature. So you decide not to resist the illusion because you think going against it, is worse than going with it. Well I’m here to remind you that those are not the only two options. Eventually our technological advances will supersede the need for marriages and illusions of love. I recommend you retract your original solution to ” go with the flow” and instead strive for the next paradigm shift in human discovery. Because there is a reason why nature has to ” trick ” us into falling in love. Its because the consequences on an individual scale are just as bad as loneliness, actually, potentially worse. So your resolve to ” just go with it” is really not a solution at all. In fact, in the end, its just as bad as fighting against your feelings and living in solitude. Schopenhauer was right when he made that statement on his deathbed. The world is full of misery. For you to just give in to the illusions just means your choosing ignorance is bliss route. Just because nature wants something to happen doesn’t mean its supposed to happen. I believe the answer is NOT to give in to illusions nor is it to live in discontent solitude. The answer is simply to change the world to one that is not miserable through technological advances and discoveries.

    Rime

    February 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    • I liked your analysis very much, except for one point (changing the world). I have been studying cultures and society for a few years and I have concluded that “wicked criminals” are farming “stupid sheeple”. This conclusion came after a lengthly study of modern capitalist democracies. Schopenhauer realized late in life that he was very muched blessed. He thought he was miserable, but that too was an illusion. Voltaire said that “busy solitude” is the real road to happiness. The Buddhists are very big on “no attachments”. Simpler beings seem to need companionship, cigarettes, religion and other opiates. If I am right in the notion that wicked criminals are farming stupid sheeple, the 40 hour work week will never go away, and individual sheeple will be numbers or pieces of meat to be exploited/farmed. Utopia is therefore utterly impossible. Chnaging the world would require draconian measures beyond belief and imagination. Lennon made a Utopian proposal with the song Imagine, and he was shot in the back 5 times. My advice is to make your own Utopia in a corner somewhere. If you can bring a young female along with you, you have got it made until she splits.

      Robert Jacobs

      February 28, 2011 at 10:31 pm

      • Once upon a time flying jet planes were impossible. And the control of electrons through microscopic circuits was unfathomable. The control of vegetation, neurosurgery.. wireless communication worldwide….I could go on. The point is, that its always impossible and unimaginable until someone does it. Anyone can create their own “utopia” in the corner somewhere – its called “living in denial”, people do it. Its an illusion and it only lasts until something goes terribly wrong and the individual finds themselves back at square one, facing an existential crisis and wondering why the lie they lived turned out to be a lie after all. The only thing your really doing is wasting energy that could be dedicated to potential discoveries and advances that can actually lead us to a utopia, because your assuming it to be impossible, in turn, not even trying. Your not alone. There were always billions of people like you in the past – the people who laughed when someone said they wanted to create a way to whisper in someones ear from other side of the world, or warm up food without fire…or ..make a plant grow, before we knew we could plant seeds. Bottom line is, just because you don’t have the vision or imagination to see a solution to a problem, does not mean that the solution does not exist. So I get it, your stomped as to what the solution could be so you tell yourself its impossible and settle for a path that you know is an illusion. Most people do that.

        Rime

        March 4, 2011 at 11:04 pm

  21. @Rime : Choosing to live in a micro-utopia in a corner is not a lie, denial or an illusion to the best of my knowledge. A philosopher once asked who had a better life, a mail man with a simple family or a heroin addict who dies after 2 years of heavy drug use ? The philosopher wasn’t sure. Hedonism is the constant seeking of pleasure and avoidance of pain and discomfort. In the movie Logan’s Run, all people do up to the age of 40 is eat drink and screw excessively, never doing a stitch of work. At 40, you had to die by entering a terminator machine to make room for new hedonists. Hugh Hefner can’t really complain much about how his life went. He s not in denial. He is a form of addict in a small walled in micro-utopia. He leaves the world full of filth, slime and drudgery to “the slobs”. If you think you can change the world, you are the one that is delusional. Saying that Orville and Wilber got off the ground means nothing. Birds have been flying for millions of years. Making a utopia out of 6 billion monkeys is a whole other matter. It might be easier to fly to another planet and start a new civilization.

    Robert

    March 5, 2011 at 3:31 am

    • living in a micro-utopia in a corner is not an illusion? So if I’m on a plane thats about to crash into the sea, I can create my micro-utopia where no planes crashing planes exist, where im walking on the ground instead of 1000 feet in the air? Ignoring he fact that I’m on a crashing plane? Thats not denial? Come on. We’re all on a crashing plane because we’re all awaiting death and pain is inevitable.Birds have been flying since the beginning of time, so what makes a flying plane so special? Is that your point? Flying birds have nothing to do with technology, its not amazing for a bird to fly if thats what it does naturally, on the other hand its unnatural for human beings to fly But we figured out how to do it. The point is, that the impossible was done. The very idea of human flight goes against nature itself, but we did it. How do you know utopia is not in the same boat? All life, not just humans, are hedonistic. Every living thing is motivated by the need to escape suffering and obtain pleasure. a baby kangaroo is guided from womb to pouch by one map, pleasure and pain stimulation. The only difference is our perspectives on how to get there. You say pretend paradise is present and its present, I say create it for real. who is right? Is a man with his legs crushed under a truck in pain telling himself hes not suffering living in denial? according to you it seems hes not in the denial. But we both know the truth, that hes simply an afflicted man, choosing to live a lie because it makes him feel a little better than if he were to face he truth that his legs are being crushed. By the way, monkeys cant innovate, humans can. You don’t see a monkey splitting atoms, on the other hand you find human beings breaking the sound barrier. sure we’re animals but our ability to innovate separates us from all other animals. We can actually change the world, monkeys cant, if we wanted to we could blast a giant hole in the earth and disrupt the entire ecosystem, can monkeys do that? I don’t think so. Hugh Hefner cant complain? why because he can have massive orgies with the hottest women? do you not understand the concept of human adaptability and age degradation? Believe me, Hugh Heffner has just as much to complain about as steven hawkings or Helen Keller. We are all afflicted by nature, we all face disease death and suffering. Whether we admit it or not. The only true way out is to change it. Not pretend to change it. People have been pretending to change it since we existed, thats why we invented romance and religion. On the other hand people have also been changing it for real with inventions like the light bulb, computers cures for diseases….. Dont you see the pattern? everytime we face a challenge, people are divded into two types, the type that pretend to change it by making up lies and living by them, and the kind that actually try to change it for real. Example – You get a brain tumor, you can pretend to fix it with rituals, or you can actually fix it with brain surgery. living in a micro-utopia in a land of hell is equivalent to fixing a brain tumor with rituals. But attempting to change the world through technology is equivalent to removing the tumor with brain surgery. So you tell me, which one is real, and which one is living a lie? We both know the answer.

      Rime

      March 5, 2011 at 2:56 pm

      • @Rime : I have read up on falacious reasoning extensively. I see some genuine intellect in your posts, but I also see some falacious reasoning mixed in for good measure. I will leave you with a few thoughts that hopefully ends our debate. Schopenhauer was one of history’s greatest philosophers. Experts have said that he was not far behind Plato. I have him on my top 10 list. I will make the bold statement that he knew more than you, with no insult to you. He said that “we live in the worst of all possible worlds”. No worse a world is possible. Peter Tosh, called cities “shitties”. Bob Marley called them “concrete jungles”. Thomas Malthus, another top 10 for me, called them “graveyards of men”. Natalie Merchant referred to cities as “an asylum, madhouse” in her song Carnival. As the population doubles again to nearly ten billion, and as the climate browns out from China-India-USA carbon emissions, and as a third of all species dies off and as the US goes bankrupt, and as Capitalism dies a slow death, there will be you sitting in the middle of all that chaos trying to build us a brave new utopian world. Good Luck to you.

        Robert

        March 5, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    • Not if you do it with the same “monkeys”!

      2tame4fame

      October 28, 2013 at 10:36 am

  22. Love is an illusion. Just part of our mind that play with us. There is no such thing as love in the first place. Love does not last forever, because love does not exist. I never believe in love, I never believe in trusting others. Though I have wrote that I do love someone and that someone would be my mother. I do love my god mother and brother too. But I love my mother the most because she have always been there for me. Don’t love people that do not love or care about you, think about people who truly love you. Because they do not want you to get hurt. Love the people that love you first before loving others.

    Deon

    March 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    • Your post is an excellent one. Possibly the best on this thread. A mother’s “love” for her child may be the only real, eternal love that exists in the universe. It is a unique bond that is likely unequaled. Pair bonding “love” is so powerful an illusion, that it seems real until it disappears later in life. That is its purpose. To fool us into breeding.

      Robert

      March 16, 2011 at 11:29 pm

  23. When i meant love someone I meant falling in love and when I meant love is an illusion I meant falling in love with someone.

    Deon

    March 16, 2011 at 8:19 pm

  24. love is a load of bs to be honest. The only true love is love of self and realisation of who you truely are. ultimately we are not biological creatures but spirtual ones. The fact that many people bang on about biology and mating means you are a slave to the system which continually will have you believe this is all life is about. Wake up my friends. You are the way to freeing yourself when you realise all things exterior to the soul represent falsehood.

    truthseeker

    May 2, 2011 at 10:11 am

    • I like your post except for the part about not being biological creatures. I am a philosopher king and I am 99.999999% sure we are biological creatures. I say that because we are definitely biological creatures. I also believe that we each have souls, spirits and Jungian shadows. Breeding pair love is an instinct that brings pleasure via sex, and via a sense of ontological security that both together release a lot of endorphines leading to a unique kind of satisfaction. It may be that once you leave the breeding age window, endorphines fall off leading to some kind of mid life crisis. I think the wicked capitalists are harnessing the whole breeding pair bond thing with TV. Women today will only mate with slavers (working class heroes). To get the endorphines that only a female can supply can cost a man $3000 a month (or $200 an hour). He must be a slaver to get that kind of revenue. Most philosophers in history were single most of their lives as a result.

      Robert

      May 3, 2011 at 12:02 am

  25. what happens to us when there is no more love in the world? do we want to live in a world with no love?
    To me there are at least 2 types of love. Schopenhauer’s and Buddha’s sexual desire is one type. But there is another: that of Jesus, the saints who Love God, and others who love God. There is nothing sexual about this. It is the Love of Yoga–Union, or Henosis in Greek. This is metaphysical Love and it is the highest form of love. I love someone when I feel their pain and suffering on this earth. How does this mean i am just trying to procreate? True, most poeople only know “puppy love”, and that is for breeding and sex. But please, do not try and take love out of this world. I used to be like that when I was a very strict Buddhist. But even Buddha, who was celibate after he became enlighetned, have great love in his heart.

    gothicus

    May 24, 2011 at 8:20 pm

  26. I personally believe there is no such thing as *true* love. I’ve yet to actually see it. The closest to true love I have seen is *respected* love for the lack of a better turn where couples work overtime to restrain themselves from lashing out at each other which in my humble opinion is not a healthy choice.

    You shouldn’t be in a situation where you are either angry all the time and have to lash out or hold back your emotions and become bitter due to so much difference that you can’t find a common ground.

    I do not really see a relationship out of that unless you like false personalities then I hope these people are *happy*.

    Kyle From Silverton

    June 13, 2011 at 8:05 am

  27. if you don’t believe something, you will never experience it, as it can not exist in your reality……. love is all there is…….

    joann

    August 16, 2011 at 8:16 pm

  28. Love… real love, unconditional love, the love you have or should have for another human being simply because he or she is… is true. “Falling in love” with someone is the only illusion… it is not everlasting, not real, they can’t feel what you feel, you only know what they say, don’t give up so much of yourself, we have to take the word must out of our vocabulary, have no expectations! Dont take things personally, I always wondered why or how could they not love me anymore, the reality is it’s never about you. No matter what one does or however they may feel it’s ok …because love is unditional it is pure. I love anyway as I do any other human being, and they can leave as they came in… alone, without a piece of me…And I move on

    Aj

    September 1, 2011 at 6:41 pm

  29. The word ‘love’ provides an abstraction for choices you make towards yourself and towards others. Our western thought leans towards these abstractions and remains caught up in debate about the choices that comprise our concept of love.

    Eliminate the abstractions. The word ‘compassion’ provides a concrete description of our constitution in action or choice towards ourselves and others.

    Its compassion that moves the buddha to develop way past suffering
    Its compassion that allows jesus to teach us to love our enemies as ourselves
    Its compassion that allows man to invent against his condition of lonliness/misery/death

    light works

    September 16, 2011 at 1:51 am

  30. We may ensure the survival of our species because thats what we’re programmed to do, but that alone is not reason enough to disgard the “magic” associated with love. Love is a real live active force and it is for this reason we were (Mankind) created in the first place.We were created by Love (God). If we were created by love and our genetic make-up houses and generates love then it can be said that our primary reason of joining together is Love, not survival. Procreation is simply a by product of love. Love begets love.

    lol…..if that made any sense…

    Indigo Ignored

    October 1, 2011 at 12:39 am

  31. I find that romantic love is a social construct that is planted in the human mind. “Love” control us all! When mixed with the false pretence that love and material are intertwine the puppet masters of our world profit tramendously! Not only threw riches, but they also gain control.
    In many other countries love is consitered as sickness and people married one another for surval and to pass on thier seed…
    Romantic love distracts us from having true love for our humanity….

    Genesy

    December 3, 2011 at 3:10 am

  32. Love is the antidote to alienation. Consider the effects of life in a market economy based on transactions that require one to suppress empathy within human relationships or “lose”. Marriage is husbandry of women. We are not some abstraction (“the individual”), but a manifestation of the intersection of social relationships. A human in isolation is unthinkable. It wouldn’t even be able to speak. It wouldn’t live a day without the care and concern and support given to it by others. Love makes another person part of you. Today there is an overemphasis on genetics and a blind spot on language and culture that mentally constructs all of us. I think this is why religious people are so wary of evolution. They aren’t just ignorant. They instinctively recognize that natural selection does not determine social evolution, which so many capitalists are quick to assume, in an attempt to make an historically transient economic system based on ruthless competition seem natural and inevitable and unchangeable. Romantic love isn’t just hormones, it is stories and idealizations that are analogous to many other forms of anticipated experience that can end in disillusionment. We do not fall in love to have babies. That’s like saying we eat for nutrition. If it were true then we would only select the healthiest food. We fall in love because there is a story about meaning and contentment (heterosexual because capitalism needs to maximize the production of human labor power). A human today is not the same as a human a century ago, not the way a horse today is the same as a horse from a century ago. Darwinism explains the evolution of species. It is inappropriately used to explain human behavioral motivations in a world that is at pains to avoid anything approaching Marxism (which is nothing but an acknowledgment that human institutions are ultimately limited by the state of productive forces needed to procure what we need to live). If people did not see others in the form of a sexual transaction (which, in my opinion, makes love impossible for the same reason that business transactions must not let empathy get in the way of the deal), love would be effortless. Does your pet dog get tired of you and look for another owner? Do you roll around with and play and sleep with it? Is there a point where you go looking for other dogs after a honeymoon period? Transactional relating is spoiling human relationships, and this pessimism about love is a consequence. It won’t go away until humans no longer rely on human labor power to produce what they need to live. Love should be grounded in friendship, in seeing oneself in the other. Instead, it is a drug, a negotiation, a manipulation, a transaction, and it is asymmetrical under heterosexual patriarchy. Men want sensual pleasure and a reification of their masculinity, women want security, and so a trade is arranged. No wonder people are disillusioned after a short amount of time. And the fact that so much is invested in preventing other types of love (especially homosexual love) by the state, the church, the family, etc, is telling. We are being coerced into literal business contracts with the state (historically you had to get permission and have cause to divorce, if it was allowed at all) to breed only because human labor power is necessary for civilization to continue.

    Jeffrey

    February 4, 2012 at 5:22 am

  33. I think luv is really an illusion

    Mirian

    March 22, 2012 at 4:03 pm

  34. mirror mirror on the wall….. would you rather think about love or feel it?

    lets talk about chemestry candice pert proved that humans have chemical receptors for opoids prooving that they would only be in the body if we could make such a substance namely endorphins within our own bodies also that these chemicals can be produced by thought e.g what makes us blush … a thought so our perceptions of the other person triggered by a thought and expectation , our projections are that initial feeling of love . love is a habbit of these feel good chemicals..

    love all triggered by the mirror flips people out sexually, emotionally and mentally

    claire

    April 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm

  35. Love is for sure an illusion. Proved in my case. I had been a girl , who had always kept in mind that the first guy in my life would be the last one. And because of this reason, i never made a boyfriend throughout my school life, as i’d thought that if i would go for someone, it’d be after giving hell lots of thought about that person. When finally during my graduation years, i fell in love with a guy , who was a family friend and he proposed me. The days with him were the most beautiful days for me ( even after it being a long distance relationship), or maybe that’s what i thought so. Things starting deteriorating when he started asking me for physical relationship, of which i was not giving consent as i was not ready for it at that age (i was 18). Day by day his interest started getting over in me. His behavior got worse by each passing day. And one day, before my birthday and also a week before the completion of our 1 year, he called and broke up with me, saying that he wants to be rich and does not need me anymore . For 3 mnths after that i continued begging him to be back, but he said such harsh words, that my soul was literally dead. Even my parents came to know about us, but still i took his side and protected him. But all i got was sorrow.

    It took me 1 whole year to get over this (still not completely.)
    I had lost all hopes, when once again cupid blessed me. There came another guy in my life, who brightened it up once again. But i never knew, that with him i had invited triple dozes of tears and sorrows. He played a hideous game with me. I was studying and staying in a hostel. I used to think as maybe he misses home food, i should send some of my own hand made food for him and so i sent it to him. Later on i came to know that he gave that thing to the peon out there and made the letter that i’d sent for him , read aloud to everyone at the boys hostel, even are personal text messages. He did much more worse things, which i can’t even verbalize. I was broken again.

    The third time, i felt in love with a guy who was like every girl’s dream. Simple, down-to-earth, honest and respecting women. We became good frns and i disclosed my feelings to him, to which he said that he does not feel the same but we never know what happens and that at this point, he was just focused on his career and doesn’t want to be on any relationship. He started asking me out for dates and all and one day suddenly i came to know from somewhere that he got committed. Again, my dreams shattered and me misguided.

    So, for me there is nothing called love. Neither does it exist , neither does it have any meaning. No one understands your feelings and no one cares about your emotions.

    I don’t believe in LOVE anymore, nor would i ever…I’m just 21 right now .

    Anumika

    May 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

  36. If all reality is based on perception (the senses) and all perception is subjective, then reality is subjective and there is nothing but subjective truths. Just because the brain tricks us into a certain perception (love in this case) does not make it real. All we do, all we are is just a set of physical interactions of electric signals within the brain. Our perceptions lead to personal world-views which are just “best fit models”, nothing more. For the ignorant part of this best fit model includes the existence of some ethereal thing known as “love.” To the intellectual the truth is far different. Love is just neuro-chemically induced reaction to internal and external stimuli. What we call free will is just the complex interaction of undetermined/unknowable variables in a very complex system (the brain). To some this is extremely depressing. I have read some posts that suggest if life is without intrinsic objective value (meaningless) then why exist? The answer is to give meaning to life, which can only be done on a personal level. I think Nietzsche summed it up perfectly when he asked:

    “How much truth can a spirit bear, how much truth can a spirit dare?”

    d1r3i9c0e

    June 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    • One of the best comments on this thread !!

      Robert

      June 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    • Dear d1r3i9c0e,

      I responded to every sentence you write with sincere contemplation and genuine interest. I accidentally replied at the bottom of this instead of your comment. Not certain if you will notice, so I’m commenting here as well. Cheers. James

      jamesjblackburn

      September 1, 2012 at 5:25 am

  37. Love is just another word for bonding. Speaking as a 70-year-old, I have learned that – as the years roll by – love grows deeper, but its form changes. It’s still love, though!

    Pam

    July 24, 2012 at 6:00 am

  38. English is my second language, so sorry for mistakes.I will never be with a guy who sings songs and gives me flowers if i don’t see interesting personality in him. He should have heart (emotions) and be wise. I want a guy who i will achieve (challenge). i should think he is genious in order to give him myself. Stupid and not worthy guy can kiss my feet and sing songs – i never will want him (boring). We girls like achievement. We should believe he is smarter then us, so we can learn from him. He should be spirutally stronger then us. I should ask myself: how he does it? I also want to be able to be like him and do the same thing. So, for exemple, my ex was a very good actor. He was very charismatic for people. Sometimes i was afraid that even guys would like to have him…Everybody, everybody liked him. How he could do that? How he could be so handsome but at the same time have such easy character? That guy amused me so much with his benefits (talant). He amused everyone with that. He always keeped me asking, wondering, learning. When i had sex with him i had sex with someone i don’t know, but someone very powerful. It turned me on for him. During the day i couldn’t take my eyes off him, ‘cos everything what he did was new for me. He could do so many things i couldn’t. I would absorb it. I am a spy. I wanna do this too. Teach be baby. i am your little girl. I will sirve you, cook for you, give you my body until you giving me your secrets. You are sucssesful. You play with people so easy. I wanna be the same. Teach me baby. And also, please don’t show me that you love me so much. i am interesting in my love, not in your love. And my love for you is spying for you. But i know. Once i find out all his secrets – i will stop love him. He will became usual and grey. I know it. And he knows it too. i prey it would never heppen. Please be stronger then me (i mean mentally), so i d keep loving you, because there are so many simple guys around who can’t be special. They know the same things i know. I don’t discover with them. they are not an adventure. They like me, erve me, sing songs, but they can’t give me something new. So I can’t give my body to someone who is usuall. i need someone who will amuse me. if you don’t have much talents to make me interesting in your personality, at least you can be rich. It is also benefit, so i will be with you despite i don’t love you, but if you want me? ok, at least money will keep me interesting to spend my time. Every girl is the same. She will stay along, rather then being with someone who is mediocre, usual.

    Bella

    August 10, 2012 at 5:08 pm

  39. I would like to ad that i also was a big surprise for my ex. I was stronger then him in some things and often won him (he felt like a small boy and i was mommy). I also kept him asking and learning. We had strong chemistry (lust) between us as well. Sex was so easy.
    It was tough. We had so-o many things between us (it was too emotional) that i left. i didn’t know how to deal with that. Three years passed and i don’t have boyfriend, i date, but no more. I have met so many so many wonderful guys, but memory of my ex didn’t let me to go further with them. i am afraid of falling in love after my ex. He left deep scar on my heart. i am not ready to feel such a strong love to anyone else and may be can’t. i want to see him again so-o much. I want to understand that he is finished for me. We separated without saying goobye. I don’t know if he will be the same if i meet him again. I don’t think so. He has another girl now and lives in another state now.

    Bella

    August 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

  40. Romantic story, but i don’t believe in love. It is a sweet biological natural drug (good sex) + discovery of interesting person.

    Bella

    August 10, 2012 at 5:44 pm

  41. Love has different meanings for everyone. It seems for me something like love/sex/family does exist. But it is very complicated, demanding and has lots of conditions (but, if). It is some possibility. Experience. Some kind of game, venture. For me, it would be very interesting to run a family and to be able to setisfy all the requirements. I don’t believe in classic meaning of romantic love which people give. Far not everyone can run a (successful) family, but it is possible. Love is dangerous. It can leave you bankrupt with obuse. Love is some kind of business (a firm) called family, it involves lots of internal strenth, wisdom and diverse knowledge. I am a woman. In order to have family i know i can’t be young when start it. When i am young i am not ready for running a family. Because first, i need to find myself and answer many questions to myself about the world, find internal balance. For that I have to live a bit of life at least be 30 y.e. I am 30 now. I am confident. I know how to care about myself and how to be sexy 7/11 for my husband, i read a lot about men’s psychlogy (how they see women, what sex means for them), cook, i know which food is healthy to eat, i also got aducation and a bit job experience. So, this is minimum requirement for family. I know if i would be unlucky to marry a guy earlier, i wouldn’t be capable to run my family successful and give proper care to my husband and child (i would divorce). i know how lucky i was that stayed far from guys in my young age. My first big love (lust) happened when i was 27, he was 26. Family (love) should be regulated somehow. May be also some preparation course :). Love is not evil, we just have to respect it, study it and be responsible.

    Bella

    August 10, 2012 at 7:39 pm

  42. u said exactly where i reached after a gr8 thought.
    one more thing to
    we love ourselves…….thts the root u missed

    zak

    August 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm

  43. The meaning of life is to give meanting to life. Meaninglessness’ oldest comment of which I am aware is in Ecclesiates. If anyone can stand reading obout these things from a less despairing viewpoint, you may wish to look at curmudgeograph.net under “Birds & Bees”, “That Choked-up Feeling”, “The Tyranny of the Rational Mind”, and “Darwinism is Without Purpose”. I hope you visit. Struggle is part of life. Choose to live.

    curmudgeograph

    September 1, 2012 at 2:16 am

    • Dear d1r3i9c0e,

      I really enjoyed reading your heart felt, carefully thought response. Every persons response (whether true or false) is always a cry out for deeper understanding – including my own. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to codevelop this understanding…. Please allow me now to comment on your interpretation of vibration, represented by a combination of letters and words.

      “If ALL reality is based on perception (the senses) and all perception is subjective…”

      All but ONE REALITY – ONE TRUTH is based on perception.

      “…then reality is subjective and there is nothing but subjective truths.”

      Absolutely correct. All opinions and “facts” are purely subjective. From the very first sound created by a human to the very first letter written, these are all INTERPRETATIONS of the ONE TRUTH – the ONE REALITY – THE SOURCE.

      This source, this one truth, this pure ISness, this pure being, the “I AM” state…. This is Love. Also referreed to as “God” in relgious teachings.
      .
      Love, Knowingness, Empowerment, Truth, Being, “God,” this is inside each and everyone of us. Beneath the level of skin, mask, material form, there is a circuit of energy (light-sound) VIBRATION. It is connected to every thing on Earth and in the Universe. In past, present, and future, beyond space and time. It Inifnitely IS. That’s what YOU are.

      Energy is unborn. Undying. Infinitely Real. It only changes from. You are energy (beneath the mask). When your mask decays, YOU (the unborn energy), YOU (the undying energy), YOU (the infinitely Real), YOU will only change form.

      You don’t need a church or preacher to tell you this, unless you are fullfilling some other needs like connecting with others, and contributing to higher causes. (which can be done outside of the church.)

      —-

      “Just because the brain tricks us into a certain perception (love in this case) does not make it real.”

      Love is the only thing that is real. Love is God. Love is Truth. Love is Knowingness (beyond the mind, measurements, and judgements).

      ——

      “All we do, all we are is just a set of physical interactions of electric signals within the brain. Our perceptions lead to personal world-views which are just “best fit models”, nothing more.”

      You are correct, from the perspective of the physical. But you must look past the physical. There is a SOURCE that empower the physical. Power does not come from nothing.

      —–

      “For the ignorant part of this best fit model includes the existence of some ethereal thing known as “love.””

      If you have not experienced love to know that it exisits, I am sorry. If you open yourself up to experience it (through lots and lots of unconditional giving — leaving aside your own needs – giving purely for others with no benefit for yourself) — you too will experience love when it is returned.

      —-

      “To the intellectual the truth is far different.”

      The “truth” you speak of is the same truth you spoke of in your first sentence. It is a subjective truth, based up time and space, measuring distance, size and speed across a certain space. All this measuring and calculating, and rule making by scientists, judges, and professors are purely subjective, and Effects of prior judgements and recording of “facts” (subjective truths).

      There is only 1 truth. It is in the dead center of all existence. it is impossible for a human bening to ever reach the center. Because boundaries are constantly being expanded, the center is always changing. A human being can only experinence The One Truth from a vantage point outside of the Perfect Center.

      Therefore, trying to define, measure, categorize, judge, discover, “the beginning” is impossible. It can never be achieved. it is a moving target. The truth can only be experienced through pure belief, knowingness, also knows as emotion, feeling, —– LOVE — aka “God.”

      (By the way, I am non religious, used to consider myself aethiest before anything else. Have studied amd researched many many relgious teachings, ocultist teachings, esoteric teachings, and simply came to discover the one and only OVERLAPPING TRUTH of them all… Plus I experienced it myself…)

      —–

      “Love is just neuro-chemically induced reaction to internal and external stimuli.”

      That’s right. From the physical perspective. But there is a source that came before both stimuli.

      —–

      “What we call free will is just the complex interaction of undetermined/unknowable variables in a very complex system (the brain).

      Correct, plus there is a source beneath that complex interaction of variables. The interaction of variables is like the engine of a car. The source is like the gasoline. This is also emoption. or aka LOVE.

      ——

      “To some this is extremely depressing.”

      Only to those who have not discovered the Truth INSIDE OF their SELF.” Self Love must first be discovered, before you can give love to others.

      ——-

      “I have read some posts that suggest if life is without intrinsic objective value (meaningless) then why exist?”

      We exist for different reasons depending on which persepctive you are looking from.

      – From the perspective of “pure beingness” “god” that which YOU are, the reason for existence is nothing more than to love and be loved. You are motivated by LOVE.

      – From the persepctive of the physical material body YOU are channeling through to interact and experience the 3D physical dimension, you are motivated by Fear. Fear of non physical existence. You are motivated by FEAR.

      You entire life will unfold based on where you spend the majority of your time. In your heart, giving and receiving love to others, following your emotional guidance system. – OR – In your head, listening to your subjective rationlizations, belieiving your obstacles, and critisizin your self and others.

      —–

      “The answer is to give meaning to life, which can only be done on a personal level.”

      We exist for one reason only. LOVE. There is expansion and contraction in the universe. The same expansion and contraction exisits in the human. The one constant in and out of expansion and contraction is LOVE. That’s why YOU are here – to experience love.

      —-

      I think Nietzsche summed it up perfectly when he asked: “How much truth can a spirit bear, how much truth can a spirit dare?”

      Nietzsche is talking about pushing the boundaries of expansion and contraction. When you expand to the maximum, you make space for the contraction, and vice versa.

      Thank you for reading my response.

      P.S. Been working on a book and personal development course for the last five years. Almost complete. Stay tuned…..

      http://www.James-Blackburn.com
      (I’ll redo my website too after the course is complete…)

      A couple neat links to check out are

      Auyasca experience….

      Near death experiences

      jamesjblackburn

      September 1, 2012 at 5:22 am

  44. In my opinion, marriage is not codusive to the continuation of love. I applaud the younger generation for the beginnings of change in the belief in this institution. A man and a woman can love each other & have children, but live seperately. Fsmiliarity breeds contempt, and kills love. As for religion, it causes more problems than it solves. Once again future generations will move away from religion.

    Helen McElroy

    January 3, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    • You may not be in the majority in your opinion. Maybe your own challenges should not be projected onto woman and mankind as a whole.

      curmudgeograph

      January 9, 2013 at 2:23 am

  45. The way I see it is that we are basically puppets for our genes. The body is a practical means to preserve and carry our genes into the next generation, and emotions are basically a control/reward system which steer us towards doing whatever it takes to achieve this. We do something potentially beneficial for our genes; we get rewarded with a positive feeling. It’s why all the best things in life, i.e. making friends, eating, falling in love/sex, are – not coincidentally – the most important from the perspective of our genes.

    It’s pretty amazing really that we’ve progressed this far as human beings without universally accepting this – fairly obvious – fact. I suppose it’s because we don’t want to believe it’s true. I don’t think it’s *that* depressing though, for this reason: We have the gift of the conscious mind, and therefore the power to repel our selfish instincts. The challenge is in accepting the truth, and finding a way to live with our selfish emotions, rather than constantly battling against them. I’d also add that we have empathy, which is basically a selfish emotion in disguise (emotion/subconscious mind combined with conscious thought), but which none the less allows us to relate to others, sympathyse and ultimately help them on an emotional level, which I still think is reassuring.

    But in the end none of this necessarily matters, as life is something to be so, so grateful for. So just enjoy it the best you can!

    Edward Spearing

    January 16, 2013 at 1:20 am

    • Don’t believe everything that Richard Dawkins (“The Selfish Gene”) writes. Yes, gratitude is the foundation of so many good things. What would a selfish gene have for which it would feel grateful ?

      curmudgeograph

      January 22, 2013 at 7:01 am

  46. See things as they realy are and not as you wish them to be? Untill the truth lets you know in person, literally everything is a gamble?

    Steve

    April 7, 2013 at 7:00 am

  47. I simply reached this unique site not long ago. I had been actually grabbed using the bit
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  48. This is all true! When you realise this and move onto a higher plain it is when you actually become a human and cease being an animal! As a true human being can recognise natures tricks and processes. Unfortunately this means there are very few humans living on the planet? Lets face it animals have feelings

    Steve

    April 22, 2013 at 4:53 am

  49. I needed to thank you for this very good read!! I certainly loved every bit of it.
    I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post…

  50. I think love is a illusion, I always struggle with idea lust and love just like good and evil.

    Purple PILL

    March 18, 2014 at 8:10 pm

  51. Reblogged this on How fair is the garden of my delight and commented:
    Some interesting thoughts based on Schhopenhauer’s writing

    marywrites2

    April 15, 2014 at 11:35 pm

  52. i think thats the difference cultural between east and west, even in arab there’s a story about love named laila majnun, very interesting because in reality love made the protagonist lost his mind and became a crazy people. even in Islamic thought love is not something that you’re seeking in marriage because marriage is just the way of human life that God choosing to us, something that evolutionary perfect because human baby is too much weak without the protection of their parent. naturally human isn’t so quite noble like in Christianity, but in Islam human thought to become better and responsible for what they’re doing in life, so yeah maybe love beetwen human is just illusion, but hate always survive in this world.

    toyib

    May 9, 2014 at 11:51 am

  53. It has been the best analysis ever seen since i read Schopenhauer’s “Metaphysics of Love of the Sexes”. Then i label Arthur ” The gigantic mind of all times” as he was able to live by pure reasoning.

    Gilman

    August 10, 2014 at 12:30 am

  54. Reblogged this on Living. Loving. Learning. and commented:
    I think this theory is spot on.

    maureeceli

    February 4, 2015 at 5:40 pm

  55. Love doesnt exist, its just extreme temporary emotional desires the same as greed, lust, sex, power etc. Social conditioning from childhood is what creates love or the need for it to keep the species alive and bring the next generation into existance. Thats why the TV is such an inportant factor showing people living happy families with the big house, cars, nice furnature, dog, cat, 3 kids which is what people strive for. Were all social slaves used to keep the rich in their comfortable corrupt lives. The top wealthy 5% use the other 95% as cattle to keep the financial engine working. This includes illusions of free will, freedom of speech, want and control that most of us think we have. People are social animals but every human being seeks power over others which brings out the worst parts of people human natures along the way. The population has increased because females are not happy having 1 child in this modern society, they want more because its a human greed thing. Look at the TV advertising alone and the way ladies will go to any length to find a mate to breed with. The very nature of human existance is constantly manipulated throughout their lives to drive them into conforming with the masses and doing what it expected by other human beings. Make you own minds and stop being manipulated but love itself is just a strong emotional feeling to find a mate, breed and feel content in their lives. The feeling can last for years or not depending on the outcome of live itself.

    phil

    April 12, 2015 at 3:45 am

    • Love is a selfish trait! Loyalty is what matters, Homo erectus survived for 1.8 million years, Neanderthals for 300,000 years. The difference is you can be in love more than once! But you can only be loyal to one person or cause?

      Stephen Rubins

      April 12, 2015 at 4:20 am

  56. The parent would give his/her life because they can’t endure the pain this loss would cause them Not because of love. the parent protects him/her self from pain. ever thought of that. that’s why we protect our offspring and relatives we learned to adapt too. Love is still an illusion, we all die alone, believe me. people go on with their lives when our eyes shut and we faint forever.

    RAFAEL

    December 4, 2015 at 7:35 am

  57. i too had Questions about love and human instinct about which i got some opinions from some smart people. but the fact is humans from the start are breaking the rules of nature but with love and the inner emotions its not so. humans cut trees harm the ozone , doing everythin against the nature but incase of love humans are still following the natural way of falling in love which seems quite illogical b’coz at some part you are going against nature in such a way that it may harm your existence(destroying forests etc) and on the other part falling in love going with the nature’s plan. so it might seem like i am talking shit but the point that i want to say is that love seems to be above all despiye it may not be eternal but it above nature as nature has kept its priority above its existence(nature). so i m not fond of falling in love too atleast in my productive part of life , but it seemed logical/illogical both to me .

    kim uso

    February 15, 2016 at 12:44 pm

  58. Life itself is an evolutionary conspiracy. Love is the greatest conspiracy that makes life go.

    Sayed

    March 30, 2016 at 6:28 pm

    • Love can be the most beautiful thing as long as it is reciprocated but the moment it is rejected, it turns to be most depressing, sometimes to the point of losing all other interests in life.

      Manogran Govender

      April 13, 2016 at 7:33 pm

      • Love is a drug used to keep the species on the Earth. The female dopes the male to gain full control of him (his will) for survival reasons. This was the deal for a million years. Today the women can dump thier man on a dime. The dumped guy ends up like Tom Cruise in the Last Samurai. Check out the saki screams on YouTube. If dumped you can either get clean or try and find another muff.

        Tiberius Aran

        April 16, 2016 at 2:14 am

  59. The promise of love is indeed the most effective tool for deception. Such deception can linger for a life time. But the bigger Question is what is love, is it far fetched from emotionall desire, or just a feeling. Check out this exclusive post.
    https://godfreydamabel.com/2016/05/26/is-love-real-or-is-an-illusion/

    Damabel

    June 7, 2016 at 4:10 am


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