Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

Efficiency Is King

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One evening in my college library, around 5 years ago, I was reading Harvard Business Review and came across a very interesting case study of how Dell’s management information system work. Although it is now a conventional wisdom in the business world, back then the whole concept was pretty revolutionary.

This case study was about the process of what happen from the start – when the customer place an order, to the finish line, when Dell deliver the items, step by step. The case study kept emphasizing on one very important factor. Just one – and that’s Efficiency. There are many advantages to an organization which put emphasis on efficiency. Among the list :

  • Reduce operating cost
  • Prevent excessive spending
  • Fast speed product/service delivery
  • Customer satisfaction
  • Lean management of resources

Once I was done reading the case study, I spent 30 minutes to chew on this ‘revelation’ of the impeding new business world.  Every organization would want to utilize computer system to create efficiency in every part of their business department from productions to administration.

Efficiency is simply the new God of business. If you do not embrace efficiency, inefficiency will curse and condemn your business. Like a devoted worshipper, every business must give praise to Efficiency.

So, I started to think of how I could apply Efficiency to other areas of life. I forgot how I came about this, but I wickedly started to imagine how I could apply efficiency to robbery.

I imagined, if I want to rob someone, what will be the most efficient way to rob my victim? What is the surefire method of 101% success?

And I figured out the answer – It’s slash-n-rob. Use a knife or machete and slash the victim first, making him or her bleed and injured and then take the time to grab the belongings away. And then run away – 101% success.

The more I thought of it, the more I realized how dumb most robbers in Malaysia was for sticking to conventional methods of threatening victims.

OK, let’s imagine that you are a robber and you found a victim. When you take the knife, and approach the victim, point the knife to the victim’s neck and ask the infamous question – “Money or Life?”, you are actually taking a chance. Perhaps a better word would be risk.

The universal law says that if you are taking a chance, you are actually leaving things to fate. And that’s dumb. What if the guy knows Kung Fu? What if the girl is hiding a pepper spray somewhere? You are actually giving yourself room to be completely doomed by the victim. A highly motivated and successful robber will never rely on fate and chance to succeed. You have to take charge of your own fate! (Oh yeah, I sound like a personal development guru for robbers).

Hence, I concluded that any robber who understand the value of innovation will eventually embrace efficiency – Slash-n-Rob. Slash first, and slowly rob the victim. What’s the advantage of this method? Plenty.

1. Immobilize the victim. A slash on victim’s arm will make him/her to unable to fight back. A slash on the leg will make him/her unable to run.

2. Let the fear sink in to their head. Their life is now at the robber’s hands. They will listen to him. They will surrender everything to him without needing any form threatening. Because human being instinctively let fear rule over their head.

3. Disallow the possibility of shit happening. An injured and frightened victim can’t do shit.

How about the disadvantages of slash-n-rob? Well, there are no disadvantages. Robbing is already a sin, so what difference does it make to commit another sin? The robber will just spend slightly more time imprisoned in jail if caught. No big deal.

Now, let’s switch roles and step on different shoes. Close your eyes and imagine you are an ordinary person taking a stroll in a park. Suddenly, a robber slashes you from behind without saying a single word. Terrifying isn’t it? You would have surrendered everything you have to the robber, no? That’s why I called this a surefire method to success because uncertainly and helplessness amplify Fear.

5 years later, today, this method has became a reality in Malaysia. Slash-n-rob method is getting popular and is slowly adopted as the modus operandi for modern robbers. Many slash-n-rob cases were not covered by the media for one simple reason – to avoid public panic and bringing fear to public people.

So, the robbers in Malaysia have evolved. Just like in the law of Evolution, when the predator is getting stronger, the prey must also evolved along or die. And for this reason, I took the first step by getting myself an Air-soft gun. I do not know how useful this is for self-defense against slash-n-rob, but I figured having an Air gun is better than no air gun. True or true?

Don’t believe me in this, but I would want to believe in 20-30 years small robbers in Malaysia will evolve and will be using guns because many ‘prey and victims’ will follow my method of protecting themselves by using air gun. So, the robbers will have to evolve and become even more aggressive. I predict shot-n-rob will be something common in this country in the future.


PS: I’m stuck writing my part 2 swimming pool story. GARHHH


Written by elan85

June 15, 2009 at 12:35 am

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology

One Response

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  1. HA HA.. Funny and Educational .. let me get back to you after i put your theory to test

    Varda Nisar

    June 15, 2009 at 12:46 am

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