Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

Archive for September 2009

Unconditional Love

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  • Why do people help each other? What is the motivation behind the act of helping?
  • For people who understand evolutionary psychology, the answer is apparent – we help each other for selfish purposes. We inherently seek reciprocation with other human beings.
  • Reciprocation is an essential behaviour in human and the primates. It is a very sophisticated method of teamwork to ensure our own survival. I help you and you help me. I scratch your back and you scratch my back.
  • People often delude themselves into thinking that they are helping other people out of their own own kindness – They believe they are compassionate, sympathetic and well, good people, and that’s why they help the others.
  • FALSE! If only human being is such simple creature.
  • Every time we help someone, there’s always an underlying motivation lurking behind. When we help someone, there’s always this ‘expectation’ that this person will help us back in the future when we need it.
  • Hence, this is the reason why we dislike people taking our help for granted. We love to be appreciated when we offer our help to the others. We expect the other side to give back when we need it.
  • What I want to point out here is simple – our intention to help others is not as ‘Pure’ as we thought.
  • However, there is a group of people who, most of them, practice unconditional love. They are parents.
  • Parents are one of the few groups of people in this world where they could just give, give, give and give without expecting any returns.
  • Thinking very objectively, this phenomenon is rather amazing. Why do most parents care more for their own children than the neighbor’s children? Why do parents love their own children more than the neighbor’s children? Aren’t all of them children?
  • Hence, in some ways, although parents practice unconditional love to children, it is actually a very ‘selective’ unconditional love. They only love and prioritize their own children. Period.
  • Again, this intention of love, is selfish and not 100% pure.
  • I have a theory that every single action and intention of ours when interacting with other people, to some extent, are motivated by an underlying selfish desire. Well, I know this is not a new theory since Dawkins have already been talking about it in the book “The Selfish Genes”.
  • What are the three amazing lessons I learned from this observation?
    • How amazingly human are hardwired to value reciprocation, a more sophisticated level of cooperation for survival purposes. Some group of animals practice cooperation such as lions, bees, oxen, hyena, etc but none of them are as sophisticated as the behaviour of reciprocation practiced in human being.
    • How amazing human is programmed and hardwired to dislike people who do not value our help/love or people who took our help/love for granted. How we are motivated to help. How we always expect people to return the favour. How all these programmed mind-set work since birth without being thought by anyone.
    • Parents, who have the capacity to provide unconditional love, only limit their love towards their own family but could not extend this boundless love to other children and people.
  • A two cent question – Will human mind ever evolve, get enlightened and break this non-purity barrier? What if everyone does not have this love barrier? Wouldn’t it be a better world? Can human develop a pure mind as comparable to Buddha and love everyone without boundary and barrier? 
  • I believe we can only call our intention pure when it comes to a day when we help and love other people out of joy, compassion and kindness without expecting any returns of favour. The intention of helping others because we want to be happy. Purity.



PS: Writing a full blown 1000-2000 words essay is mega tiring and time consuming. With this point form method, blogging will be fun again. From today onwards, I’m going to start using this point form method to write. Till then.


Written by elan85

September 7, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology