Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

Archive for August 2013

Compilation of Ronn’s best FB Status Updates.

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The last one year has been great. I think 2013 is my favourite year so far among all my working years. I’ve grown and matured in many aspects and certainly enjoying the journey for now.

I’ve also shifted my interests over the last one year. From science and philosophy, I’m more interested with economics, management and strategy in general recently.  Even my personality has shifted, something I discovered few weeks ago … from INTP to INTJ.

More significantly, I think my thoughts and insights are getting more polished than ever. It is especially glaring when I compare how I conceptualize my idea several years ago with the way how I do it today. This blog itself is an evident.

I think one of the greatest benefits of having a blog is to be able to peer into the mind of your younger self – the way how you think, your mindset, ideas etc.  And to be honest, I cringed quite badly every time I read back all the old posts I’ve written several years ago. The insights and ideas were great, but they were mostly horribly written, with plenty of grammar errors, crude, lengthy, and dry as a bone.  And some were quite immaturely written too.

Same can be said to all the Status Updates I’ve been putting up for the last 4-5 years on my Facebook too.  Some were so bad, I didn’t believe I actually wrote them. But they were all part of the process, I guess

Despite that, some of the FB Updates I’ve written I thought were actually pretty insightful and witty.  If there’s one thing which never really changed over the years, I think it is my style of humour.  I may not have the spontaneity to be a funny guy in conversations, but I do enjoy very much crafting humour with words and will want to do it more often

Took some time to compile them, but these are all my personal favourite FB status updates I posted on my Facebook between Late 2009 to Late 2012.

PS: Some of them were edited due to grammar … and for prettification reasons. 

——-

11 October 2009
Klang 6km run epic moment : A dude was blasting Japanese techno anime-ish music with his speaker phone … and I tragically got outran by him. His otaku aura was so powerful, I gracefully accepted my defeat

13 December 2009
Today, a dude asked for my name. I told him Ronn Yeo. He wrote my name down as ‘Romeo instead. Maybe I should ask my dear Juliet to give him a slap later.

7 February 2010

How to chase a big fat cockroach away? Shine torchlight on it while smacking the floor with a t-shirt to create some air pressure.  Because of science, i’m dealing with a cockroach without killing it, I’m such a nice guy.

13 February 2010
If we keep insist on being productive, will we ultimately be slave to productivity?

3 March 2010
My neighbour paid RM 2,000 for her daughter to learn swimming. I paid RM0 by learning from my friends. There are things in life you don’t friggin need money to buy.

7 April 2010
People in my area felt earthquake tremors and building shaking this morning. I could feel it too. But I’m not sure whether it came from Sumatera or Lionel Messi.

27 April 2010
Saw some middle eastern chicks with really hot asses in KLCC. So hot, I need to tweet bout it to release the heat across the internet

26 May 2010
North Korea and South Korea could go to war soon. To all the South Korean hot chicks BoA, Hyori, and SNSD, I’m offering you my house for shelter. No thanks, you are welcome.

28 July 2010
100,000 turtles, dolphins, whales, seals are killed by plastic marine litter every year. I think it is about time we educate these lovely creatures that eating plastic is not really smart.

30 July 2010
People are still talking about RON95 and RON97. They have no idea how bad they made RONN10 feels

30 July 2010
Friend : My Macbook Pro can support medium settings for Starcraft 2. Not bad.
Ronn : When you paid RM4,000+ for a machine, you better pray it can support Starcraft 2.

9 August 2010
Looking at the goldfishes, I think their sole purpose of existence is waiting for me to feed them food.

12 August 2010
I’m starving and it’s Chinese Ghost Month now. I swear I will smack those Hungry Ghosts with slipper if they dare to touch my char siew rice at home.

19 August 2010
The amount of sugar this mamak stall put into my roti pisang and milo ais is making me believe they are on a mission to get my legs chopped off 10 years from now.

27 August 2010
Dane : “If Ronn gets bad service in Starbucks, he will just chill with it … then go home Facebook rant about it. If I get bad service, I will fuck them upside down properly … but will still also Facebook about it.”

30 September 2010
Friend: Do you think goldfish sleeps?
Ronn : I asked my Goldfish before and it said ‘blurp blurp blurp blurp’. Do you know what it means?
Friend : I think they are telling you to fark off.

4 November 2010
“Fabulosity is a term I coined to describe all things being fabulous”, said Kimora Lee. Dumbosity is a term coined by Ronn to describe all the dumb things people said on TV.

29 November 2010
If I turn on the pipe water and accidentally drown the ants, will this be considered as a natural disaster in their world?

21 December 2010
Mum gave me stale nuggets to eat. Took me 3 bites before giving up the nuggets. Needed the 2 extra bites to verify if the mother is really trying to poison the son.

13 January 2011
Sepandai pandai ah Beng itu pecut, akhirnya kena brek dekat trafik light jugak

30 January 2011
Uncle Lim knew we are going to collect Angpow from him, so he made a landslide to stop us from going up to his casino. But he forgot about his cable car. Oops.

24 February 2011
Whenever some ah beng lansi me with his tailgating skills on the road, i’m always half-tempted to show him my jam-breaking skills too.

2 March 2011
A Chinese dude with heavy english accent in SS2 kopitiam “why is it so hot here? can we sit somewhere cooler?” … Sir, McDonald’s that way please ————>

4 March 2011
I thought there is a law which prohibit lousy food in Ipoh?I just ate a lousy chicken hor fun at Gunung Rapat which seems kinda popular at night. Can I sue them?

1 April 2012
Why do when people laugh, there’s only one style of laughing – “Har Har Har Har” .. why can’t it instead be “Ku Ku Ku Ku” or “Da Da Da Da” or “Su Su Su Su” or “Rah Rah Rah Rah”?

12 April 2011
Proof that gender equality is an illusion – Lady cleaner can clean male toilet but male cleaner cannot clean female toilet.

30 April 2011
FFFFFFFUUUUUUU they are charging RM0.70 for a glass of warm water. Excuse me while i go to the toilet to drink pipe water while praying to Sun Wukong to save me from this humanity’s madness.

30 June 2011
Transformers could go down as the only movie in history where everyone expected that it will suck badly but still watch it anyway.

2 July 2011
Honestly, I do not know which is more sinful – killing animals for fun or wasting food. Because it seems to me, both situations are essentially, implicitly, the same.

7 July 2011
Do you notice nobody sings Michael Jackson’s songs in karaoke? Because no matter how good your singing is, when you sing MJ’s song, it will sound horrible instantaneously

15 August 2011
Mum: What fish do you want to eat?
Ronn: Hmm.. catfish.
Mum: Is the catfish fresh?
Lady boss: Yes, look it is still swimming there.

Ronn turns his head and look at the catfish swimming happily around in the aquarium. Suddenly feeling horribly guilty. Seriously.

15 August 2011
To honor the fish, I swear I will finish eating it up. And if I can’t finish it, I will feed the 2 cats which are staring at me right now.

16 November 2011
Been working for 12 hours straight everyday for the last 3 days. At this rate, I will get to show my new kungfu skill in futsal court tomorrow – sleeping mantis tackle, yawning tiger run and dreaming phoenix shot.

19 November 2011
At My Elephant restaurant, there’s this girlfriend who was wearing a sexy blue V-dress (front & back) while the boyfriend was wearing a plain t-shirt and short pants waiting for table. I swear i heard her mumbled ‘I don’t want to live on this planet anymore’ from 10 tables away.

23 November 2011
Evangelist : “The God and Bible have already proved that the core of the earth is made of fire 3,500 years ago! Can any human at the time possibly know there is fire at the centre of earth?”

Ronn : “Any human who have seen a volcano before 3500 years ago would have probably figured out that there is fire under the ground”

Too bad the evangelist did not even stop and think about my perfect logic but continue preaching instead. *shrug*

29 November 2011
Should i kill this mosquito which is flying around in my room? If yes, then im killing a creature unnecessarily. If I let it go, it may bite me later while I’m sleeping. Come on, mozzie let’s solve this. Either you bite me now so that i have reason to kill you or fly out from my room now before you do anything stupid.

I know, you know we just wanna live a little bit longer in this planet, so i help you and you help me lah, ok? #midnighttalkcock

24 January 2012
It’s indeed the truth that money is firmly attached into Chinese culture’s mindset. Just observe all the Chinese New Year 1-liner greetings – 50% of them are somehow related to wealth. Even fast food burger also have to be named Prosperity Burger.

27 January 2012
The awesome moment when you are checking a pretty girl out through the glass’ reflection and she is also staring at you via the reflection. *swoons like an amoi*

25 Februari 2012
Hari ini, semasa saya bermain game Mini Dice di rumah Uncle Lim, saya me-witness-sasikan probabilities yang sungguh logik-defying. Saya tidak faham apa ketahian yang telah terjadi tapi mujurlah saya ada tahap kesabaran yang berkobar-kobar. #losemoneyuntildontmakesenseanymore

5 March 2012
Saw Shokubutsu’s Active Guard’s TV ad with Chef Wan saying – “These days bacterias are getting very smart!” I went into dafuq mode for 15 seconds because i couldn’t brain the logic of the sentence.

16 March 2012
America is the best with wordplay and euphemism. Instead of saying ‘price increase’ or ‘increase of rates’, they are calling it “annual price adjustment” … suddenly it sounds as though this is something they have to do every year, not because they want to, but due to the force of nature.

21 March 2012
I see driving around PJ and KL road as a game – the avoiding potholes game. And it gets even more fun when the challenge is to drive over the potholes in between the car tyres consecutively.

4 April 2012
If I reverse my car and knock the fella behind me in the traffic, can i bluntly accuse the fella of hitting me instead? I mean, how will the police and other people know except for the victim?

11 April 2012
Casino, a place where people have the illusion that they can control their destiny.

11 May 2012
Why do Negro get offended when they are called or labelled Negro when they are really are a group of Negro?

20 May 2012
Went to casino. Paid 200 bucks for 2 cups of orange juice…. If you know what i mean.

13 June 2012
Nose has been crying like a bitch since I came back to Malaysia. Probably because it is missing the cleaner air in Singapore.

15 June 2012
What happened : Many people are taking sick leaves because of the haze and dry weather.
What really happened : Ponteng work because of Euro 2012.

15 July 2012
Sneezing while brushing teeth. The aftermath.

31 July 2012
Myth : Ronn is a hardcore KPOP fan.
Truth : Ronn has stopped listening to KPOP since 5 years ago. Ronn only occasionally streams SNSD and Tiffany’s videos for fun while waiting for his hair to dry at night like a princess… Because believe it or not, it is more fun to see some pretty girls than staring at an empty wall.

Myth : Ronn has plenty of KPOP songs on his iTunes playlist!
Truth : Ronn only listens to Korean electronic, electro pop, underground hiphop or emo ballad music. Ronn is allergic to KPOP music because for every one second a mainstream song is played, a bunch of brain cells in his head die.

Myth : Ronn likes everything Korean.
Truth : Apart from SNSD, Samsung monitors, some Starcraft players, or maybe Kia Forte, there’s nothing else Ronn likes about Korean stuffs. Not even something as funky as bimbimbap.

Myth : Ronn is obsessed with Korean female celebrities.
Truth : If you give Ronn 60 minutes, he would probably only spend 17 seconds looking at Korean celebrities and the rest of 59 minutes & 43 seconds philosophizing why pigs can’t fly.

Myth : Ronn likes girls who look like Korean and want to marry Tiffany Hwang.
Truth : That’s probably true….. Marry me, Tiffany!

16 August 2012
Read quite a number of FB updates and tweets recently about girls commenting on Fifty Shades of Grey. Only girls can talk about porn so openly without sounding like a hamsap pervert.

29 August 2012
As a male species who is supposed to have superior navigation skills, I find Curve’s parking to be extremely confusing. It’s not me. It’s you, Curve.

11 September 2012
Shoe Size Conversion is one of the most inconsistent things in the universe. Every different sites gives you different set of numbers. US size, UK size, Euro size, and Ronn’s size when-giving-a-roundhouse-kick-in-your-face.

11 October 2012
Robert Kiyosaki just declared bankruptcy. It looks like … *putting on shades* Somebody has become a poor dad now… YEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

26 November 2012
Strategy when eating at a fully packed Chinese restaurant – Order the most common food to cut waiting time. Fried Rice!

1 December 2012
Malaysians like to complain not enough money … Not enough money to live a luxurious life they can’t afford.

23 December 2012
What happens when you are sleeping on your back facing straight up, with runny nose and then suddenly you sneeze in sleep? It’s like getting cummed on the face.

25 December 2012
Someone from Happy Mansion is singing karaoke of the classic Beyond’s song 海闊天空 quite badly off key … and then the sunny sky rained immediately. Too good to be coincidence. I think I’m starting to believe in God.

25 December 2012
A girl is sitting roughly 5 metres away from Ronn, choking Ronn with her fragrance. I think the girl needs Ronn’s tips on the art of applying fragrance sensually. First tip, if the fragrance is “smell-able” more than 1.5 metres away, she is doing it wrong.

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Written by elan85

August 10, 2013 at 11:51 am

Posted in Uncategorized