Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

One week in the land of Ching Chong Ching Chong.

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Day 1

  1. Chinese people don’t give a shit about airplane rules. No going to toilet before landing? Goes to toilet. No mobile phone while landing? Talk on the phone like a Chinese.
  2. Chinese people are so cheapskate, they don’t even wanna give free WiFi in an international airport.
  3. The soya bean in Shanghai is so much nicer than Malaysia’s. Yes, I travelled 4,000KM to other country just to try out and compare their soya bean.
  4. Took the Maglev train and travelled at 430KM/H. My trip is complete. Not sure what to do for the next 7 days.
  5. Horning is the national pastime for the People Republic of China
  6. Chinese people don’t give even more shit about rules on the road. Traffic light is meaningless as cars and bikes turn as they want. Zebra crossing is only for zebras and humans are crossing the road like a human.  Cars coming at high speed? Don’t give a shit, crossing the road is more important. Welcome to the metropolitan city of Shanghai
  7. Good news, folks! When it comes to first world infrastructure, third world mentality, Shanghai beat Kuala Lumpur flat on both aspects.
  8. Wanted to say beating us as flat as Chinese girl’s chest. Luckily got awek Melayu to tahan abit #ifyouknowwhatimean
  9. But to be fair …. I think the reason for this is because the development of the city is so rapid, it outpaces the mindset of the people. I believe given enough amount of time, eventually the Chinese will evolve to be slightly more sophisticated creatures and catch up with the modern times.
  10. I like how China has the vision of turning Shanghai into a global financial hub to compete with the big 4 – New York, London, Singapore and Hong Kong. That vision alone has revolutionised the entire city and country on many levels. I think every country needs to have a vision to be among the best in certain industry, especially in industry which does not rely on natural resources. Japanese did it with electronics, German with automobiles, Korean with entertainment, Singapore with services, US with almost everything. In this aspect, Malaysia is far behind with the lack of vision. When the oil and timber run out in the next 20-30 years, Malaysia can suck thumb and eat dirt.
 Day 2
  1. Customer service in Shanghai still have a long way to go. The Chinese is usually with their wadafak-you-want angry face or i-dowan-to-live-on-this-planet-anymore gloomy face.
  2. In the outskirt of Shanghai, there are many houses which have Russian-influenced design. And it looks like toybox.
  3. Went to a tea plantation specialising in selling Long Jing tea. The lady is making a very convincing sales pitch of selling green tea to tourists by using health benefits as angle. And the killer part is when she demonstrated the “positive effect” of green tea. She mixed water + rice, symbol of drinks and food, with iodine, the symbol of poison, and then used green tea to ‘neutralise’/detox’ the poison by making it sinking to the bottom of the cup. But as a guy from marketing background, Ronn always know sales pitch is usually 20% facts and 80% idealism (which could turn into bullshit if over-idealised). I don’t doubt the benefits of green tea, but to sell it as though it is a magical drink which cure all sickness and diseases? But the water + rice + iodine + green tea part was indeed a very clever trick to convince aunties and uncles. I have to give them that.
  4. Good thing I self-learned Mandarin when I was a teenager. I could understand 90% of all the things the lady was saying. Thank you Happy Sunday and Guess Guess Guess.
  5. Chinese people can even upsell stuffs to sell in a museum. Seriously respect. Only In China.
  6. Shanghai girls’ butt are generally flat #observationofabuttguy
  7. Whenever I see a cute girl riding a bicycle in the middle of highway especially at night, I feel like donating all my money to her so that she can buy herself a car to go home safely.
  8. A:  Why are Shanghai girls butt flat?
    B: Because they have Chinese genes?
    A. No. Because they sit on bicycle all the time. #antiantijokechicken
  9. When a mother who gives in to peer pressure easily is with a son who doesn’t give a shit about peer pressure and they both are surrounded by a bunch of aunties, shit can get pretty intense.
Day  3
  1. Sweet sour pork is the one dish which is consistently good whether you are at Shanghai, Hangzhao or Xuzhou.
  2. Visiting temple is something I fear the most. Kneeling to some random statues that I don’t even know. Doing some superstitious rituals that I don’t even understand.
  3. If I’m going to kneel to this dear random statue, I will wish for him to drop me a perfect girlfriend from the sky.  Preferably rich too so that I can tumpang her to buy all the shiny gadgets I want in the world.
  4. Around 30% of Chinese people who drives new mid-range cars like Volkswagen, Audi, Hyundai and Toyota actually wind down the window while driving. My hypothesis is they are doing it to save petrol since air-cond takes up around 10-12% of petrol consumption. Perhaps many of them bought a car with the fact they are financially struggling to pay for petrol. #chinesepeopleveryjagamuka
  5. Wanted to order ice-cream from McDonald’s … but the menu is all 100% in Chinese and I don’t even know how to read and pronounce Sundae in Mandarin. I think to make things foreigner friendly, all food outlet should intelligently label their food with some code in the picture. Like A3 for McFlurry or B5 for Vanilla Sundae etc. Then I could just point my finger at the picture and shout like Chinese always do – GEI WO YI GE B5!!
  6. Money spent after 3 days – 5 yuan for the soya bean. Not sure what to do with the rest of 1995 yuan in my wallet since I couldn’t spend it on McDonald’s. =(
  7. The amount of pretty girls in Shanghai is too damn low! #MalaysianAmoisFTW
  8. There is one part of Xuzhou which was invested and designed by Lee Kuan Yew + Singapore. Honestly, I would want to stay here if I ever move to China. So well organised, modern and structured. And the fact that Lee Kuan Yew invested tonnes of money to develop this area from an empty ground in 90s to a populated suburb area today, it does shows some high level of ingenious and visionary in him.
  9. One of the sights in China which I can never get used to – So many young girls walking alone on the street at night. A sight which I can never almost see in PJ and KL anymore. The fact that Shanghai is so much more safer than PJ/KL made me shed manly tears for our country.
Day  4
  1. Food in Malaysia is much better than food in Shanghai. Even food which don’t need to cook like grapes also nicer in Malaysia. Oh wait, we imported that.
  2. If there is one thing I quite like about Shanghai, it will be their proactive effort to take care of the environment. They make you pay 1 yuan for plastic bag, having recycle bins everywhere, low air cond temperature, and even reminds you not to waste food.
  3. Shanghai’s street is so much more cleaner than Kuala Lumpur it makes me wanna cry.
  4. I think the bad habit of littering are at the same level but Shanghai is more proactive to clean the street while the cleaners at Kuala Lumpur are perpetually hibernating.
  5. At every corner of Shanghai city, they will have policemen, guards and cleaners to take care of the city and making sure everything is in order.
  6. Rumour has it that tourguide earns 30% commission on all the stuffs tourists buy at certain location. So their true job is actually doing sales?
  7. Peretto 80/20 rule is one those models that I can apply in almost everywhere.. Even here, I can safely say 80% of the tour guide’s commission came from 20% of the tourists.
  8. Following tour is one of the lousiest way of travelling. But it is the easiest and most convincing way to organize a trip to far away land among older people. Simply because it gives certainty – where to stay, what to eat, where to visit … everything is set and organised.
  9. But it is certainly not something the younger people do. 6 years ago me and another 3 friends travelled to Bangkok without knowing anything about the city. We just relied on the one simple map we got from monorail station and it brought us to many places for the next 4 days. Yes, that one map.
  10.  In this sense, I think Bangkok did an excellent job. They systematically placed monorail stations nearby all the attraction places, and just one killer map cum brochure to systematically recommend places for tourists to go.. Within 3 or 4 days, you would travel one big round of the entire city and feeling that you have travelled properly.
  11. With more and more younger people doing the explorative style of travelling plus all the information we can get from the internet, I believe tour travel industry could die off within the next 30 years.
Day  5
  1. Ling Shan temple is so beautiful it will make you want to convert to be a Buddhist instantly.
  2. The Grand Buddha is so tall even the real God will be intimidated by his size.
  3. At Nanking’s Japanese Invasion Memorial … an event where 300,000 Chinese were massacred by the Japanese. A moment of silence …. for Japanese’s easy victory over the Chinese
  4. I bet RM0.20 that the number 300,000 was inflated. Just because.
  5. New words learned in China while seeing two Chinese arguing on the street – CHAR NI DE MAMA!!!
  6. Didn’t charge my phone. My brain is dying with the phone battery. No further observation will be made for the day.
Day 7
  1. There is this group of Chinese people who speak like Korean, look like Korean, fart like Korean but they are not Korean..
  2. Even with the number game of billion population they are playing, I think there are more pretty Malaysian girls than Chinese girls. Quality over Quantity, ftw.
  3. This hot Chinese girl is the girlfriend of this ugly Chinese guy. I was this close of kneeling down and kowtow to the guy and call him sifu. This close.
  4. To those who are curious how is it like to go China with tour agency. Here is the breakdown of the time spent.
    2/5 – In the hotel sleeping + resting
    1/5 – In the bus travelling
    1/5 – Eating and travelling at tourist places
    1/5 – Travelling to some random shitty factories and getting upsell like shit with those sales girls flocking the shit out of you like ravens pestering you to buy their shit when their products are all old shit stuffs like jade pearl silk tea herb who da shit care about all these shit?
  5. One of the tour guide’s kungfu is to tell you shitload of random cock stories and then suddenly incept you why you should buy shit from this place they are about to bring you. Money should be spent to enjoy your life kononnya.
  6. Never ever serve bad dishes to Malaysians. We will know. Even before we stick our spoon to the food. Except for Ronn. Everything not horribly cooked will taste the same for him.
  7. Have you ever seen sparrows smile before? I swear I just did in Shanghai. Any creatures which lives in a 22 degrees environment everyday will be the happiest creatures on earth. Ronn included.
  8. The hottest butt I have seen in Shanghai so far belongs to a Spanish girl. Just need one Spanish girl to sapu bermillion million China girls.
  9. For every 100 of steps you take in China, one of them will land on a random old sweaty Chinese uncle’s spit.
Day 7
  1. Please rotate faster to the west side, sun. Getting bored with the trip already.
  2. No gym for two weeks = chest shrunk. Life of an ectomorph T_T
  3. The Chinese keep talking about how they have one of the fastest train in the world, even faster than Japan’s bullet train.
  4. The spirit of Ketuanan Cina is strong here. But at least their Ketuanan Cina spirit is based on something – to create a Chinese imperialism by conquering global economics and making a mark by creating global breakthrough… And they are already doing it. Ketuanan Melayu on the other  hand, believe that waving keris to Malaysians will make the whole world tremble.
  5. If I pray to the deity in a temple in Shanghai and the fella don’t deliver my requests, can I ask for refund for my donations and incense money?
  6. One killer tip to cuci mata in Shanghai. Go to high class shopping malls. As high class as possible. Girls a class above who know how to dress up well, with beautiful hair and 3 inches-thick make up are all concentrated there.
  7. Having saying that, good looking girls with minimal make up and simple appearance are still the most attractive for Ronn. But Ronn still like to see hot girls with nice hair and few inches thick make up. Maybe just like everyone else, Ronn doesn’t know what he wants.
  8. I’m surprised that Ronn is surprised that he likes watching Chinese acrobat shows that is surprisingly entertaining.
  9. Am I the only one who have the twisted nature of hoping one of them will fall flat on their face when they are flipping like 20 feet up in the air but at the same time hope that it will not really happen? OK Ronn really doesn’t know what he wants.

Day 8

1.  Balik Rumah. Camwhore



Written by elan85

September 30, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Posted in Storytelling

One Response

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  1. Fantastic article, I have bookmarked this excellent website and may learn more later. keep up the great work!

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