Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

Archive for May 2015

In The Name of Filial

with one comment

Read some story about some typical real life Chinese family drama story revolves around $$$ (what else). And i felt bad for the girl who was pressured to support her family financially although she is somewhat willing to do it. I think it is a very common thing amongst Chinese family.

I cannot fathom the logic of some people who have children in hoping that the children will support them back financially in the future. Isn’t that unfair to the children? That they are brainwashed through their childhood to ‘pay back’ the debt of parents who worked hard to raise them up in the name of filial and then these children are expected to be burdened financially to support them back? It is like one big ass cycle of burden which just keep looping on for generations.

Just think about it in hard logic. Push away the idea of care, love, filial and such for a moment. It is not fair to the children, because frankly they didn’t ask to be born to support the parents back in the first place. Pressuring children to support the parent back has no difference than doing emotional blackmailing in the name of filial.

It’s true, parents sacrificed a lot to raise the kids up. It’s a noble role. But it’s was a choice the parent made. Having children is not an obligation or a duty. Having children is supposed to be a passion.  When you make a choice of taking this path to raise a kid, you are supposed to absorb every difficulty you are going to face today and 30 years from today.

Here I am wondering, if I’m the only one who will feel guilty if I ever pressure my children with the expectation of supporting me back financially in the future. If I can’t support myself financially till the day I die, I won’t even want to have any children in the first place. That’s my logic. And it makes sense.

PS: My mum never asked for even a single cent from me, maybe that’s why i have the liberty to think in such a way.

PPS: Wanted to post this on FB, but gut feeling told me not to since it’s a rather controversial train of thought where it’s easy for people to assume that i have no love for parents. So yeah, to a place where nobody reads instead.


Written by elan85

May 25, 2015 at 7:06 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Of Effort and Naruto Figures

leave a comment »

I have been eyeing this piece of Naruto figurine for some time already, probably since last year. I couldn’t find this anywhere in Malaysia because it’s an exclusive/limited edition piece so I had no choice but to go through international sellers and they are all selling it at an exorbitant price between RM800 to RM1000. So, I just kept waiting and waiting for many months for someone to sell it at a fairer price …. and finally one day, I found a person selling it for RM500ish at E-Bay. Better yet, the seller is local.

However, the seller has 0 reviews and 0 track record. I was very hesitant to buy from an unrated seller at first. You know, it’s only normal that you fear online scams especially when an unrated seller is selling the item way below the market price. But i really wanted this item badly despite the seller’s condition of courier delivery only. So how? I e-mailed him to try my luck for COD (Cash on Delivery) where we could meet face to face to exchange the products. The next morning, he replied me with a wall of text mail, clearly explaining and giving me multiple options on how we could meet and what he will do to make sure everything will go smoothly despite the slight inconvenience for him to COD.

I was impressed by that mail. It was very detailed and thought through. I love it. I changed my mind immediately and transfer the money over to him via M2U without hesitation telling him i will want it to be delivered via courier instead. I was sold just by how he wrote the mail alone. Everything written in the mail is filled with effort.

Not only that but he also went through the trouble to change courier service that he usually use just to make sure my item is delivered right at the timing i requested (Saturday morning). He could have just shoved me off and asked me to wait for few days longer with whichever courier he is using. I don’t mind waiting to be honest since i have waited for months for this piece already so what’s few days more. But this guy here is actually worrying the timing for me. He also requested me to feedback him about the courier service because he wanted to know how punctual they are since he is trying them out for the first time.

Not only this person put in Effort to make sure the whole transaction goes smoothly but also the immense Care for every part of the selling process including the quality of courier which i think most sellers will neglect after passing the package over.

Anyway, i thought about the whole idea of ‘effort’ and ‘care’ while driving and i think the moral of the story is quite worth sharing.

  1. Always put in a lot of effort in everything you do from step A to Z. Others may not see or realized all the effort you put in but the truth is when you put in effort, it is more on helping yourself rather than pleasing others. It helps you to become a better person and naturally it will be reflected in your work and everything you do which eventually will come back to impress others. It is quite paradoxical actually – to be not obsessed about certain quality which it will come back to help you.
  1. Again, don’t do things or put in effort just to seek approval/recognition/praise from other people. You are doing it for yourself. For example, people read to fulfill their own curiosity, not to look for praises for their acquired knowledge. Likewise for putting in effort and care. When you build something so strong inside you, it will eventually be reflected to the outer world. You are missing the point if you only care for external validations rather than building yourself up. Nothing bad will come out when you give your 100% all the time. Putting in effort builds your personality.
  1. Just like Naruto, never give up and keep searching and wait patiently for the right one. I mean, the right seller. Sometimes, you will get nothing from being patient. But sometimes patience does pay off if you know what exactly you are waiting for. And when it pays off, the reward you get could be multi fold.

I have not been so impressed with an online seller before. So I left the seller a 5-star review, his first ever review from a buyer on E-Bay, and I M2U him another RM10 as tips for the good service. I have soft spots for people who does his or her business so sincerely and i hope he will have the luck to go big soon. (well because the success of business ultimately rely on some form of luck. Effort is basically getting ready to maximise everything when the luck strikes. Many people are not ready to take full advantage when luck arrives due to minimal effort)

Anyway enough of rants, have a look at this piece of beauty already. This will probably be the last Uzumaki Naruto figurine i will buy for myself. Looking forward to the pre-ordered figures I placed for Shikamaru, Itachi and Roronoa Zoro that will be coming between July-September.




shikamaru-xtra-07 meg71518_0 001__68056.1429519564.1280.1280

Written by elan85

May 16, 2015 at 10:29 pm

Posted in Personal, Philosophy

Ronn’s Top 10 Favourite anime/manga

leave a comment »


1. Naruto – The best manga in the universe. Everything is just complete and perfect from the dynamics of the story, character developments, battle systems and the diversity of powers and abilities. Crazy inspirational too. Also, the only thing which is closest to bringing tears to my eyes on many occasions (and i have to suck it back in to my eyes every time).

I honestly don’t believe there will be any manga/anime which can top Naruto in my lifetime.

2. Death Note – The most intelligent anime i’ve ever watched. The first 15 episodes or so is the most mind blowing psychological battle ever. A story of a genius killing criminals via a death notebook and another genius detective hunting him down. I only wish that it had ended on a high right after the death of L.

3. Attack on Titan – Not a fan of human vs monster kind of the anime as i never like morbid anime … until I realized this show is much more than that. It actually has a very deep and engaging story line about mystery, conspiracy, and politics. And suddenly i’m hooked and became a big fan of the show. The story is about some mysterious giant monsters called Titan who hunt and feed on human while a team of soldiers fighting to protect the people and towns.

(The top 3 are my personal super favourites which i will vouch with my life that they are super good. The rest, they are more of individual preferences. And i’m biased cos i like more intellectual manga/anime)

4. Liar Game (manga only) – The best manga for left-brained people. Pure logic and deductions. A story of a genius who vowed to take down the entire corporation which cheated people’s money with some smart MLM schemes in a gaming tournament called Liar Game.

5. Investor-Z. I wish there are more manga like this. I have learned so so much about investment, business, economics and the mindset of good investor from this manga alone. It’s like reading a book about investment and economics in the form of manga. I’m probably gonna read Dragon Zakura after this since it’s from the same author.

6 Slam Dunk – Hanamichi = The Naruto of basketball. Probably the most inspiring anime after, well, Naruto. A bunch of misfits competing in national school basketball tournament.

7. One Outs – A story of a genius who uses logic and strategy to beat his opponents in baseball games while handling very complex politics between him and his superiors. The author of this manga is the same guy who wrote Liar Game, so you can never expect less from him.

8. Kaiji – Similar theme to Liar Game with plenty of logic and deductions in a survival game. Not as super brainy and complex as Liar Game but it talks a lot more about philosophical aspect of life. And they are crazy insightful too. Not a fan of the graphics though.

9. Bloody Monday (manga only) – Story about terrorists vs anti-terrorists. Glimpses of Death Note moments here and there with some battle of wits. But not Death Note enough. And it went downhill towards the second season.

10. Dragon Ball – Collected the comics religiously during primary school days. I tried re-reading it, but it never felt the same anymore. The battles are super linear and there’s no complexity in the story line. Nevertheless, Dragon Ball is the pioneer and popularizer of this genre which gave birth to manga such as Naruto, Hunter X Hunter, Bleach, One Piece, etc. And since it was part of my childhood, it deserves a mention.

Worthy of mentioning: Bleach – I rate the first 1/3 of the series to be as brilliant as Naruto and suddenly the author turned drastically lazy and uninspiring in the last 2/3. They should have stopped the series several years ago and it would have been a legendary manga. Would not have made to the list if it was not so memorable in the earlier part of the story and all the epic Bankai moments.

Notable animes/manga which are pretty OK but couldn’t bring myself to fanboi them
– Monster

– Pluto (manga only)

– Full Metal Alchemist

– Code Geass

– Legend of the Galactic Heroes

– Samurai X

– Tokyo Ghoul

– One Piece

Written by elan85

May 2, 2015 at 10:11 pm

Posted in Uncategorized