Struggling with Meaninglessness

searching meaning in meaninglessness

Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

The 4 Types of Malaysian Chinese Girls

with 12 comments

I’ve long known that Malaysian Chinese are generally divided to 2 main groups – The English speaking and the Chinese speaking. This is quite amazing because it demonstrates the power of language – How language can divide people of the same race to have so different values and lifestyle. And I think it mainly relates to the media consumed. If you speak English only, you will tend to look West and consume Western media only (movies, tv series, music, knowledge, news) . If you speak Mandarin/Cantonese only, you will tend to look East instead and only consume Eastern media.

However, I felt this categorization model is incomplete because it doesn’t include the in-between, like myself. I could not fit in either one of the categories because i adopt both of the values. Hence, from the start, I knew there are more than 2 categories.

Recently, I rethought about this again. And I managed to profile 4 categories of Malaysian girls. And it all started out when I spent time thinking about identity crisis.

Hold, let me digress about identity crisis for a while – Why do people people have identity crisis?

Identity crisis takes place in an individual mainly for 2 reasons:

A.When someone has to take on or leave a role at certain age defined by culture

    1. Eg. Quarter-life crisis – Young adults realizing they are not having success/doing anything significant in their life compared to their friends
    2. Eg2. Mid-life crisis – Children are all grown up and parents no longer need to take care of them

B.When someone realizes that his/her personality and lifestyle do not fit with friends and people around him/her

I will not talk much about point A, as there are plenty of established theories in psychology textbooks about it. Point B, on the other hand is seemingly more interesting.

When someone can’t blend in to the group …

People generally yearn for identity and will always try to blend in with group of friends who share similar interest, values and behaviour to define the identity. In the process of blending, they will naturally adopt the common lifestyle, habits and hobbies shared by the group. And when his/her own personal value can’t fit in, he/she will feel tension.

For example, Miss A goes to a university where people are generally more conservative but her values are more liberal. She will feel tension because her liberal thoughts are consistently suppressed and get shot down by conservatives.

The impact may not be huge if she has other cliques who are also liberal where she can fall on to. However,  if all of her friends from the very beginning are conservative in nature, she will most likely be confused with life and will keep searching for meaning, or questioning her beliefs if they are right or wrong …  until she finds a group of friends who share her value and lifestyle.

The 3 major tensions are :

Language (English vs Chinese), Religion (Christian vs Buddhist vs Non), Personality(Extrovert vs Introvert)

OK, Ronn, so what’s your point?

I digressed quite a bit, but my point is simple – I based my observations on the 3 mentioned tensions above. When a person finds an identity they are comfortable in or made them felt assuring (consciously or subconsciously), he/she will naturally adopt the “train of values” set by the group.

And here you go…

Malaysian Chinese Girls – The 4 Types

Note 1 : This profiling is not perfect, and I expect to edit this list several times before it can closely depict the group personalities. Or there could be Type 5 and 6 too which I had overlooked. So let’s just call it version 1 for now.

Note 2 : Just like any other personality profiling, there are always hybrids of personality. Some girls fall into 50% of this category and 50% of that category. Some, 20% this and 80% that.  But it helps to understand the 4 extreme polar of different lifestyles. 

Note 3 : Why only Chinese girls? Because I do not want to pretend that I understand the behavior of other races as different culture generally have different lifestyle. So I stick to what I know best.

Note 4 : Why only Girls? Because guys are boring while girls are more interesting, doh

1.The Devout Girl

  • Devoted Christian
  • English-speaking with very little knowledge about Chinese language
  • Strong interests in musical instruments. Likely to be skilled in playing musical instruments (motivated by communion reasons)
  • Listen only to English music (mainstream or indie)
  • Loves travelling. Has strong desire to travel around the world especially to European countries
  • Likes coffee
  • Sensitive to political news
  • Relatively earlier marriage (mid 20s)
  • Slightly more lavish when it comes to food. Frequent customers of mid to high end restaurants
  • Will have or seek an equally religious partner
  • Extrovert and like meeting new people
  • Caring
  • Generally more optimistic about life
  • Conservative values

2.The Chinese Girl

  • Apathetic to religion. Or Buddhist
  • Speaks mainly Mandarin and Cantonese.
  • Likes hanging out at shopping complexes with friends for shopping therapy. (Mid Valley, Times Square, Sg. Wang)
  • Shopping centres are the 2nd home
  • Love karaoke
  • Inspired by Taiwanese and Korean fashion – eg. floral prints, bright colour, high pants
  • Major fan of Taiwanese and Korean TV series/shows/music
  • Listen mainly to Chinese or Korean music.
  • Likes sweet Taiwanese styled dessert – (Snowflake, Chatime, Gongcha,)
  • Camwhoring/Instagraming
  • Long and straighten hair (dyed/highlighted)
  • Not career-focused
  • Focus more on the physical beauty. Spends time on making up and pampering themselves
  • Either extreme like or extreme dislike for alcohol. For those who like alcohol, will typically hang out at places like Scott’s Garden or Puchong IOI Boulevard with friends

3.The Homely Girl

  • Stays at home most of the time with straightforward and simple lifestyle
  • Family-oriented person
  • Spend most of the time watching TV.
  • Likely to have watched most of the popular western TV series like HIMYM, Big Bang Theory, 2 Broke Girls. Also Korean or TVB dramas depending on her preference.
  • Doesn’t focus much on her looks and fashion. Extremely simple fashion taste.
  • Not motivated to make-up.
  • Other hobbies could include reading, cooking, musical instruments and possibly gaming.
  • Hangouts with the same several BFFs she got to know many years ago. Tight group.
  • Likes going for meals in restaurants or trips for girls-only bonding/chatting session among BFFs
  • Deeply attached to the father
  • Shy
  • Hardworking
  • Find it hard to get a partner

4.The Cool Girl

  • English speaking
  • Atheist/Agnostic or Christian
  • Very good fashion sense
  • Easily bored. Crave for frequent outdoor activities
  • Extrovert
  • Likely to have a special talent – Drawing, crafts, dancing, singing, designing, musical instruments
  • Likes photography and artsy stuffs (Urbanscapes Festival goer)
  • Polarized in music preference – Either listen to mainstream music or a big fan of indie/alternative music
  • Goes to gym, jogging and exercise frequently.
  • Likes partying.
  • Long and beautiful wavy hair
  • Open and liberal values
  • More active on Twitter than other social media platform

Written by elan85

December 22, 2012 at 1:20 am

Unconditional Love

with 2 comments

  • Why do people help each other? What is the motivation behind the act of helping?
  • For people who understand evolutionary psychology, the answer is apparent – we help each other for selfish purposes. We inherently seek reciprocation with other human beings.
  • Reciprocation is an essential behaviour in human and the primates. It is a very sophisticated method of teamwork to ensure our own survival. I help you and you help me. I scratch your back and you scratch my back.
  • People often delude themselves into thinking that they are helping other people out of their own own kindness – They believe they are compassionate, sympathetic and well, good people, and that’s why they help the others.
  • FALSE! If only human being is such simple creature.
  • Every time we help someone, there’s always an underlying motivation lurking behind. When we help someone, there’s always this ‘expectation’ that this person will help us back in the future when we need it.
  • Hence, this is the reason why we dislike people taking our help for granted. We love to be appreciated when we offer our help to the others. We expect the other side to give back when we need it.
  • What I want to point out here is simple – our intention to help others is not as ‘Pure’ as we thought.
  • However, there is a group of people who, most of them, practice unconditional love. They are parents.
  • Parents are one of the few groups of people in this world where they could just give, give, give and give without expecting any returns.
  • Thinking very objectively, this phenomenon is rather amazing. Why do most parents care more for their own children than the neighbor’s children? Why do parents love their own children more than the neighbor’s children? Aren’t all of them children?
  • Hence, in some ways, although parents practice unconditional love to children, it is actually a very ‘selective’ unconditional love. They only love and prioritize their own children. Period.
  • Again, this intention of love, is selfish and not 100% pure.
  • I have a theory that every single action and intention of ours when interacting with other people, to some extent, are motivated by an underlying selfish desire. Well, I know this is not a new theory since Dawkins have already been talking about it in the book “The Selfish Genes”.
  • What are the three amazing lessons I learned from this observation?
    • How amazingly human are hardwired to value reciprocation, a more sophisticated level of cooperation for survival purposes. Some group of animals practice cooperation such as lions, bees, oxen, hyena, etc but none of them are as sophisticated as the behaviour of reciprocation practiced in human being.
    • How amazing human is programmed and hardwired to dislike people who do not value our help/love or people who took our help/love for granted. How we are motivated to help. How we always expect people to return the favour. How all these programmed mind-set work since birth without being thought by anyone.
    • Parents, who have the capacity to provide unconditional love, only limit their love towards their own family but could not extend this boundless love to other children and people.
  • A two cent question – Will human mind ever evolve, get enlightened and break this non-purity barrier? What if everyone does not have this love barrier? Wouldn’t it be a better world? Can human develop a pure mind as comparable to Buddha and love everyone without boundary and barrier? 
  • I believe we can only call our intention pure when it comes to a day when we help and love other people out of joy, compassion and kindness without expecting any returns of favour. The intention of helping others because we want to be happy. Purity.



PS: Writing a full blown 1000-2000 words essay is mega tiring and time consuming. With this point form method, blogging will be fun again. From today onwards, I’m going to start using this point form method to write. Till then.

Written by elan85

September 7, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology

Efficiency Is King

with one comment

One evening in my college library, around 5 years ago, I was reading Harvard Business Review and came across a very interesting case study of how Dell’s management information system work. Although it is now a conventional wisdom in the business world, back then the whole concept was pretty revolutionary.

This case study was about the process of what happen from the start – when the customer place an order, to the finish line, when Dell deliver the items, step by step. The case study kept emphasizing on one very important factor. Just one – and that’s Efficiency. There are many advantages to an organization which put emphasis on efficiency. Among the list :

  • Reduce operating cost
  • Prevent excessive spending
  • Fast speed product/service delivery
  • Customer satisfaction
  • Lean management of resources

Once I was done reading the case study, I spent 30 minutes to chew on this ‘revelation’ of the impeding new business world.  Every organization would want to utilize computer system to create efficiency in every part of their business department from productions to administration.

Efficiency is simply the new God of business. If you do not embrace efficiency, inefficiency will curse and condemn your business. Like a devoted worshipper, every business must give praise to Efficiency.

So, I started to think of how I could apply Efficiency to other areas of life. I forgot how I came about this, but I wickedly started to imagine how I could apply efficiency to robbery.

I imagined, if I want to rob someone, what will be the most efficient way to rob my victim? What is the surefire method of 101% success?

And I figured out the answer – It’s slash-n-rob. Use a knife or machete and slash the victim first, making him or her bleed and injured and then take the time to grab the belongings away. And then run away – 101% success.

The more I thought of it, the more I realized how dumb most robbers in Malaysia was for sticking to conventional methods of threatening victims.

OK, let’s imagine that you are a robber and you found a victim. When you take the knife, and approach the victim, point the knife to the victim’s neck and ask the infamous question – “Money or Life?”, you are actually taking a chance. Perhaps a better word would be risk.

The universal law says that if you are taking a chance, you are actually leaving things to fate. And that’s dumb. What if the guy knows Kung Fu? What if the girl is hiding a pepper spray somewhere? You are actually giving yourself room to be completely doomed by the victim. A highly motivated and successful robber will never rely on fate and chance to succeed. You have to take charge of your own fate! (Oh yeah, I sound like a personal development guru for robbers).

Hence, I concluded that any robber who understand the value of innovation will eventually embrace efficiency – Slash-n-Rob. Slash first, and slowly rob the victim. What’s the advantage of this method? Plenty.

1. Immobilize the victim. A slash on victim’s arm will make him/her to unable to fight back. A slash on the leg will make him/her unable to run.

2. Let the fear sink in to their head. Their life is now at the robber’s hands. They will listen to him. They will surrender everything to him without needing any form threatening. Because human being instinctively let fear rule over their head.

3. Disallow the possibility of shit happening. An injured and frightened victim can’t do shit.

How about the disadvantages of slash-n-rob? Well, there are no disadvantages. Robbing is already a sin, so what difference does it make to commit another sin? The robber will just spend slightly more time imprisoned in jail if caught. No big deal.

Now, let’s switch roles and step on different shoes. Close your eyes and imagine you are an ordinary person taking a stroll in a park. Suddenly, a robber slashes you from behind without saying a single word. Terrifying isn’t it? You would have surrendered everything you have to the robber, no? That’s why I called this a surefire method to success because uncertainly and helplessness amplify Fear.

5 years later, today, this method has became a reality in Malaysia. Slash-n-rob method is getting popular and is slowly adopted as the modus operandi for modern robbers. Many slash-n-rob cases were not covered by the media for one simple reason – to avoid public panic and bringing fear to public people.

So, the robbers in Malaysia have evolved. Just like in the law of Evolution, when the predator is getting stronger, the prey must also evolved along or die. And for this reason, I took the first step by getting myself an Air-soft gun. I do not know how useful this is for self-defense against slash-n-rob, but I figured having an Air gun is better than no air gun. True or true?

Don’t believe me in this, but I would want to believe in 20-30 years small robbers in Malaysia will evolve and will be using guns because many ‘prey and victims’ will follow my method of protecting themselves by using air gun. So, the robbers will have to evolve and become even more aggressive. I predict shot-n-rob will be something common in this country in the future.


PS: I’m stuck writing my part 2 swimming pool story. GARHHH

Written by elan85

June 15, 2009 at 12:35 am

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology

Every Little Thing About Our Joy

with 3 comments


This is my desktop table. I have no shame to self-proclaim this engineering masterpiece of mine as the 8th Wonder of the World. You know, the greatest construction since Hanging Garden of Babylon. And who knows, Hanging Garden of Babylon might just be another man-made myth for the sake of glorifying the Babylonian civilization. But my months of painstaking engineering effort is 100% provable REAL and proudly made in Malaysia. Period. So, am I not significantly more credible than .. um .. Nebuczaza… Nebunezar? Damn, who was the joker who gave him such mocking name. Hold on, let me Google up his name. *Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Click. Click. Copy paste.* That’s right, Nebuchadnezzar. So, am I not significantly more credible than Nebuchadnezzar II who may have built nothing? Am I not a more credible engineer compared to him??

Black-chrome-with-glowing-blue-light gadgets is my biggest turn-ons, beaten only by my Japanese XXX videos. But there are times I just can’t help to wonder – where did the joy came from? What’s the rationale behind my obsession towards black chrome objects and designs? Why do I think the glowing blue light is beautiful?

Do you notice there are certain little things in life which often creates a little joy in you? Like when you see some creamy donuts or when you’re attracted to the sleek Nike shoe design or when the gentle wind blow on your face? It would be understandable if we ask why do we feel joy and salivate when looking at tasty-fresh-from-the-oven chicken meat and hot sexy girls. The reasons for these are simple – For the former, obviously it is our inner motivation urging us to devour the food or else we will starve, literally and the latter, it is also our inner motivation urging us to ‘devour’ the ‘food’ or else we will ‘starve’, metaphorically.

But why chrome design? I don’t intend to bring up the graphics, but I’m not going to make love and copulate with my Razer keyboard, right? So, what’s the reason I like my gadget designs so much? Moreover, why do I like it when it is drizzling? Why do I enjoy listening to House music? Why do I get a sense of satisfaction after completing the jigsaw puzzle?

I have asked plenty of whys and even stopped myself from asking more whys, but the answer remained elusive. Now, I have two choices here. One, I say ‘God did it’ and never bother about finding the answer anymore. Or two, I accept the fact I don’t know, yet.

Like all wise men do, I resigned to the fact that I don’t know. (I have to choose this or else Socrates would be mad at me if I chose the first option instead).

There are some things which I still do not understand well but there are some which I think make logical sense – like why we think beach and forest are beautiful. You see, beach and forest are our natural habitat, just like polar bear will be happy to see ice and camel will be happy to be in the sand. As an omnivorous creature, forest represents a place for food where we can find plenty of fruit, plants and animal meat. Plus as a primate, our ancestors were living and swinging from tree to the tree. Hence, theoretically, we are emotionally triggered to like forest in a way to motivate us to reside and breed in the forest for survival purposes.

(Another interesting thing is – do you all notice that the all the biggest cities in the world are usually situated near the sea? I know the fact that ancient cities is situated near the sea for trading purposes, but I just couldn’t stop wonder if there is a correlation between this and our fondness towards beach?)

I do not have evidence for this, but I have a theory that people would be truly happier if we live in the forest instead of in a city. Or at least in suburb areas where trees are abundant.

I believe anyone who could crack the code of the origin of joy will have a massive upper hand advantage in the marketing industry. One good example is the joy of seeing shiny and glowing objects. For some weird reasons, human have some kind of obsessions towards glowing and shiny objects. And this is the same reason why some metal materials (such as Gold and Silver) and gemstone (Diamond, Sapphire, Jade) are very well sought after. People are willing to pay high price for these objects. But hey, logically thinking, they are just … stones and metal. Why nobody is willing to pay high price for the stones in my goldfish aquarium? That’s right, that’s because my stones did not mutate to glow in dark, hence no value.

Sucks to be you, stone in my aquarium.

Written by elan85

May 10, 2009 at 12:47 am

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology

A Story of Female Emotions.

with 10 comments

One of my ‘filters’ when looking for a female partner is to avoid girls who are super-emotional. I think they are rather nuisance to my intelligence and is absolutely nerve racking.

To be fair, I know the female species are generally more emotional than guys. Heck, even my mum’s hot temper could occasionally shatter my rationality into pieces. But I’m perfectly fine with it because her emotions is only slightly above normal level, unlike some small group of extreme emotional females who can never cease being emotional.

I will call these scary species as the “super-emo ladies”.

There are no other creatures in this planet who could mindfuck me to kingdom come – Only them, the super-emo ladies have this ‘mind blowing’ mutant ability. Listening to a super-emo lady rants is pure torture. Beyond hell. They are Satan’s favourite pets. My intelligence will never fail to break down and cry every time they open their mouth and transmit the never-ending-emo-acoustic-vibrations to my ears.

When I’m with a super-emo lady, I will be so psyched up to the point I will become a God-believer – Just for the sheer moment. I will look up at the sky and ask the heavens philosophically – “I can shut my eyes, i can shut my mouth, I can stop breathing, but why can’t I shut my ears? What’s the rationale of God designing human to not able to shut our ears? Why do we HAVE NO CHOICE but to listen to emo rants?”

If God tries to be funny, I could imagine this is how He will reply me – “When a super-emo lady make an emo-rant, and no man is listening to her, is she still ranting?”

……… *confused* ………

Stop Shakespear-ing with me, God!!!

Throughout my experience talking with super-emo ladies, I noticed they have a pattern in their mind. This is one of the scenarios where I can apply my Flake Theory in. They are trapped with their emotions at one part of the brain and couldn’t escape. Hence, they will keep repeating the super-emo process cycle. I will explain what super-emo process cycle shortly.

But to be honest, as time went on, I started to develop a little compassion towards super-emo ladies. And then my friend introduced me to David Deida’s book The Way Of The Superior Man. My compassion towards the female species doubled. I started to see where did super-emo ladies came from. I started to sympathize them as no females would want to become super-emo lady if they ever have a choice.

But still, it didn’t change the fact that I wish my ears could shut down whenever they speak. Too bad.

It has been some time since I’ve encountered a super-emo lady. Until last week. Let’s call her Miss E, my college-mate back in my college days. She has just broken up a one month relationship with a guy recently – Her first love. Clearly, she was unhappy. She needed people to talk to. She wanted to share her problems. Out of sympathy, 5 guys including myself  invited her to a chat room in MSN Messenger to listen to her feelings. But to be honest, we were more interested in listening to gossip more than caring for her. All the guys were listening to her problems intently. But I take little interest in her problems because all I heard was purely emo rants.

She kept ranting and ranting telling how sad she was, how she hated the guy, why starting relationship with him was a mistake, how the guy betrayed her. Kept calling the guy ‘sucker’. Yada yada bla bla bla. Never ending rants and kept repeating the points over and over again.

This is when my friend Mr. J, the ever down to earth Mr. Nice Guy tried to keep consoling and advice her. For 30 minutes, he with his good patience tried to console her with his polite relationship wisdom.

But my guts told me what Mr. J doing was utterly bullshit. His advice will only fall to deaf ears. I would have spent the 30 minutes watching plants grow instead. It would have been more interesting. 

You see, super-emo girls are selfish.  They just wanna spill their emotions. And spill more. And more. What you have to say is irrelevant and pointless. They are treating our ears as slaves. (But since we chatted in MSN, in this case, our eyes became slaves instead.) It is a one way communication. And they are particularly sensitive when you tell them that they are in the wrong side. They are trapped in one side of the brain and couldn’t see the other sides. The process repeats by itself and this is what the super-emo process cycle I mentioned is all about.

After few hours of ranting, now she rant about the SMSes she received.

Miss E : You should have read the SMSes from the guy. Even you would be angry after reading the SMSes.

Mr. J : Really? What did the messages say?

Miss E : But if I open up the messages, it will hurt me again. I don’t want to think about this guy anymore.

Mr . J : Delete all the messages then. Don’t keep them. I want you to move forward, not stuck in the past. You should forget about that guy. Life is … <bla-bla-bla-bla-typical-boring-nice-guy’s-advice-yawwnnnwn-bla-bla>. Don’t think about him anymore. If you have problems talk to us.

I, who was quiet throughout the conversation, suddenly recalled David Deida’s message. Then I decided to rock the boat instead.

Ronn : Show me the messages. I want to read.

Miss E: Really?

Ronn: Yes, I want to read.

Miss E: Um, Ok … Wait, I will connect my mobile phone to my PC.

BAM BAM. My two liner has owned Mr. J’s essay of advice. TOTAL OWNAGE. PWNED. 30 MINUTES DOWN THE DRAIN. I could feel Mr. J wanted to demand her to give him back his 30 minutes of time. And it has proven David Deida’s theory right! What A Gem! The wisest man ever lived on planet Earth after Sun Tzu!

More importantly, I started to understand a little why Nice Guys always lose.

OK, let’s leave out the super-emo lady for a little while. Let’s understand about girls in general. You see, when a typical girl is influx with emotions, no matter happy or sad, she will go beyond human-like. She becomes an Oracle. An oracle do not tell you directly what will happen or what she wants. Instead, she speaks in ‘codes’ and it is up to us, the men, the mere mortal, to decipher her words.

The science behind an Oracle’s mind is not as straight forward as mortal’s thoughts. When an Oracle speaks, she is not using words to describe her thoughts like what most men always do. Rather, she is using words to express her emotions. And for men who have less compassion and wisdom, deciphering Oracle’s words is a mess. And that’s why many men complained they have problems understanding females. And it is also the same reason why the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is such a big hit although the content of the book is total waste of crap. It all boils down to the methodology of communication.

Remember she is an Oracle. She is no ordinary human being. When having an audience with the Oracle and when she has a message for us, we shou…

Alter Ego : Whoa, I’m sorry to interrupt you but I have a question. By that, do you mean there are 3 billion Oracles on this planet?

Ronn : Urm. Figuratively speaking, yes.

Alter Ego : What is so special about it if half of the population are Oracles?

Ronn : Well, it is just a metaphor anyway. Plus, I’m tapping on the power of ‘communicating to emotions’, you know. It is powerful and will make the ladies feel flattered.  =)

Alter Ego : Another words for apple-polishing?

Ronn : Dude, you need some sense of compassion.

Alter Ego : Well, it just didn’t fit in to my logic right to use the word Oracle. The word is too big of a label for them.

Ronn : I suspect you are a male chauvinist donkey.

Alter Ego : I am you and you are me. Yes, I suspect that as well.

Ronn : I think you’re nice and gentleman.

OK, I guess I will stop using the world Oracle since my alter ego bitched about it. Instead I believe practical examples will work best :

  • Boy : What do you want to eat for dinner?
    Girl : Up to you. I’m OK with anything.

Interpretation : When a guy says ‘up to you’, we REALLY meant ‘up to you’. But for a girl, it means that she can’t decide and it up to the guy to decide. However, she expects the guy to make the best decision for her. Hence, if she expects dining in a good restaurant and the guy brings her to a fast food restaurant instead, she will frown in disgust… because it is not really ‘up to you’ after all.

  • Girl : I want to eat the ice-cream, but I’m worried it will make me fat =(

Interpretation : She WANTS to eat the ice-cream. Plus, she needs a ‘delusional reassurance’ from the guy that it will not make her fat. Feed her more ice-cream to gain more love points.

  • Girl : I hate it when you keep watching the TV the whole day.

Interpretation: There’s nothing wrong with watching TV actually. She just doesn’t like the guy to waste so much time with the TV instead of doing something productive… Or perhaps spending time with her.

  • Girl : You should read the messages. But I do not want to read the messages again. It hurts me.

Interpretation : She WANTS to show it to you. The words ‘it hurts me’ means she wants the guy to ‘share her pain’. She expects the guy to insist of showing him.

  • Girl : Don’t buy any gifts for me, OK. Don’t waste your money.

Interpretation : If she says this, especially when the date is near some special occasion, she is actually ‘reminding’ you about it.

Hence, to deal with girl’s words, sometimes you gotta think the big picture a little. Just a little. Decode her emotions, not words. And this is a little problem with most typical Nice Guys – Nice Guys take girls words literally.

Written by elan85

April 13, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Feminism Is Chauvinism

with 13 comments

Note: I pondered for some time before publishing this post because I think it is a little biased towards feminism in general. But I think it is worth reading at the same time. So, a little disclaimer here, when I mention feminist, I’m actually referring to radical or extreme feminist.

There was an essay I’ve written over a year ago – The Perceived Value – my little discovery on why comparing and critiquing intelligence between races and genders is such a sensitive issue. If only my English writing was better back then, the essay would have been perfect – it was one of my all time favourite observations I’d made. (I write better these days and I’m still trying to improve on my writing). And I’ve never hide the fact that I dislike radical feminists. A year ago, I mildly dismissed the ideology of feminism. But today, I will take one step harsher and explain in length on why modern radical feminists are bunch of confused people.

I think feminist are exactly the opposite of male chauvinist pig … that’s right … female chauvinist pig. Feminism over the years have evolved away from its noble purpose of creating awareness and defending women rights to creating new ridiculous ‘belief systems’. I feel today feminism has become more like a medium for angry women to vent their hatred and frustration towards man. Few typical examples of feminist irrationality:

  • Feminists complain when a TV show make fun/joke about women
  • Feminists are upset when a movie portray the actress as weak
  • Feminists complain when a research put “He” instead of “She” as example
  • Feminists always deny any research which shows men are better in certain things than women

My personal ‘favourite” irrational belief from the feminist is -“Men and Women are innately equal. It is the culture which created different roles in gender.”  Every time I hear this statement, I feel like crying out loud to the lady – “Bullshit”! Well, actually I’ve never done it before and never intended to but you get the picture of how silly the statement is to me. Here’s my take on this issue.

We have to look back at the history to investigate the origin of humanity – The evolutionary root. Many thousands years ago, humanity were living in a hunter-gatherer society – The Men were the Hunters while the Women were the Gatherers. These roles were shaped by natural selection to ensure the survival of human species. You see, human’s survival actually wasn’t really easy back then. Due to the complexity of human being, it takes plenty of effort from a human to develop a child properly (typically need to spend 15-20 years to grow up a child). At the same time, due to our higher intelligence, our brain consumes massive amount of energy, hence our ancestors needed plenty of food. This is how through natural selection, the nature has discover a perfect method for human species to survive properly – distributing roles between male and female. The men will hunt for meat while women will take care of the young and gather food which is easier to get such as fruits. This method worked well, and it is also the same reason why we still exist today. Even our species’ cousin chimpanzees are living in a similar societal structure.

And here, we have feminists who believe that men and women are born blank slate with nothing attached, just like a piece of pure blank white paper. Bam! There goes evolutionary psychology and genetics down the drain. These deluded feminists believe they could overwrite the millions of years of evolutionary history by imposing a fantasy-ideology to people, totally in disregard with our biological history.

There’s a reason why men could develop muscle easier compared to women. You see, our genes do not understand what is a fast food restaurant. Our genes today is still similar with our cavemen ancestor who have to wrestle and carry animal meat back home. That’s why muscular men still exist today. But thinking logically, we do not need so much muscle today as compared to thousand years ago. Why didn’t the culture make big muscle extinct? See, by just substituting intelligence with muscle, we could already clearly see how ridiculous the statement by the feminist! Is there really a difference between brain power and muscle power when both are the subject of Evolution? If brain power between gender are equal, why is muscle power not equal? Again, it all boils down to my early observation of The Perceived Value. Of course, I’m sure we will gradually evolve away from our ancestor, but the majority of our basic instinct is still pretty primitive as of today…just like most ladies still enjoy chivalry from the gentlemen, no?

Let’s look at another example of irrationality from feminism. Look at prostitutions, one of feminist’s favourite topic. Feminism consistently urge to abolish prostitution as they like to call it a sex ‘exploitation’ by men on women. But think about it, on the flip side, men actually paid women for sex and this is a fact often conveniently ignored and disregarded by the feminist – So, the million dollar question here – Who is Exploiting Who? Just as men and exploited women for sex, could it also mean that women are exploiting men for money? Is this not a fair trade in accordance to the law of Supply and Demand?

Perhaps, I sound like a MCP who is desperate to put women down. But I totally respect women. Having grown up living in a single parent family, I do not need anyone to tell me how capable a woman is. And I totally believe in equal rights and equal opportunities should be given to all genders. But the truth is still truth. Men and Women are biologically not the same. Men play a bigger role in leading and shaping the world while women supported and complemented men. In any case, just check the history if you have doubts. That’s why I call feminist confused – they are confused between the differences of equality and sameness.

I do not believe in extremes not matter what the circumstances are. I believe extremism distort our view in perceiving the reality. I believe when feminism first started out, their intention was noble and right. But slowly, feminists got obsessed with it and turn it into a political power. And they got even more obsessed with it and start creating delusional reality to fit it into their belief systems. Feminism has now generally become the blame-the-men movement, taking a holier than thou stance as if all women are victims and there are no evil and malicious females out there.

I’m pretty glad that feminism is not a big thing in Asian countries. To see women as ‘same’ with men is a big mistake because I believe it will only condition genders to compete with each and to see each other as a ‘threat’- Just like US and China aggressively competing with each other because they believe they are the ‘same’ when it comes to power. Men and women are not supposed to compete with each other – We should work together. To work together harmoniously, there need to be an acceptance in our innate abilities and nature and to know who we are and what we can do.

Written by elan85

March 17, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Instinct Saturation

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I have not been writing any fresh original essays since 30th December – (The Big Elephant), and it actually kinda frustrates me …  You know, the feeling of the brain being lazy and clogged up and refuse to think for such long period of time. But after a good one week break, I finally feel re-energized and fresh again .. for now.

So, this essay of mine is slightly inspired by the anime/manga Naruto (all time best manga, in my opinion) by Masashi Kishimoto. I have been following this manga for 7 years! (430+ episodes to date and still running). From the outside, it may just look like a typical fiction manga but actually the whole story is pretty much inspired with philosophy of Ninja and some other classical Japanese philosophy.

Obviously, Naruto is the protagonist of the story and the villains are a group of S-Class ninja organization called as Akatsuki. Read the quote below:




Konoha is far from godless. They view their previous generations (ancestors) as heavenly beings and act with the ‘Will of Fire’ as their main ideology… although you could say it’s just another excuse to fight and war.

Religion, ideals, resources, land, grudges, love, pride … any trivial reasons that motivates people to action will eventually breed war. The reason can be thought up after the fact, but war will never cease to exist.… because human nature consistently pursue strife and struggle. What people truly want is to fight.  Pain, leader of Akatsuki (when responding to Hidan, an Akatsuki ninja who called Konoha people, the village where Naruto came from, as godless infidels.) 


“What people truly want is to fight”.

If the statement above is true and can be applied to our real world, then why has war lessen over the years? Why most people today detest war?  I’ll attempt to tackle this question.

My Theory on why War has lessen.

It is true that people are still dying from local war today especially in the middle east region but on a global scale, war between powerful nations have already ceased since the Vietnam War days in the 60/70s. In other words, we are already in the state of global peace for almost 40 years now. But let’s ask a simple question – What drove people to war in the first place? Why throughout the history of humanity did we get ourselves involved in constant fighting and conflicts?

First of all, I believe it is safe to say that fighting and warring is a male thing. Essentially, this aggressive behaviour is driven to feed one major basic male instinct – Competitiveness. If you branch out this competitiveness instinct, many other typical traits will appear to be obvious such as – territorial (by dominating and occupying others) , recognition (by seeking status, power and fame), ideals, and a whole long list of other behaviours – Hence, our motivation to fight and war.

However, as we could expect from this impermanent world, things evolve. It is pretty obvious the world as we know today is very different from the world we had 40 years ago in terms of culture advancement. And I believe the evolution of world technology and culture has saturated this element of competitiveness which constantly drove humanity to war previously. I do not have rich vocabulary in me, so I will just call this phenomenon as Instinct Saturation.

How Instinct Saturation Works?

I truly believe there are some emotions (depending on individuals) that need to be consistently fed. These emotions are like gluttony-monsters. If not fed well, these ‘hungry’ emotions will rebel against us by giving us the feeling of deprivation, agitation or some kind of withdrawal. Among the emotions that need to be consistently fed, as I could think of, are boredom, love, lust, excitement, emotional-security, and competitiveness.

So, in the olden days, how do people feed this emotion of competitiveness? Yes, as I’ve said earlier, we fight and war to feed this emotion. This is also partly due to the emotion being directly tied to the environmental condition during the old days when people lived in the state of poverty or semi-poverty where most common people do not get to eat and live comfortably. Therefore, once the common people was psyched up by the country leader’s propaganda (usually emphasizing on Injustice and Evilness inflicted by enemy to psychologically push people’s hot button), common people will go to the battlefield and fight, preparing to risk their life to win the war in exchanging the opportunity for better life (that’s why military leaders always inspire people to fight for future generations). That’s how people unleash their competitiveness. It might not seem rational or logical, but hey this is how emotion works. Just like what Pain said – “The reason can be thought up after the fact

But that was 40 years back and beyond, back to thousands years ago. Back then, life was tough. Today, life has become much easier due to the rise of standard of living. Most people get to eat and live comfortably well today. Therefore, there’s not much to gain from going to war but instead there are plenty to lose.

But more importantly today, we have more modern alternatives to feed our competitive desires and saturate our strong competitive instinct. For instance, we have PC games and console games where we could unleash our competiveness by attempting to win game challenges. Then we have satellite, where sports are broadcasted live all around the world and allow fans to support their favourite sports teams or person (piggybacking on the sport team’s success to fulfill our competitive desire). Also our competitiveness has already been saturated by business corporations where we have now shifted our competitiveness into our work and organizational role. And we have many other social activities which could also very well saturate the instinct.

In others words, our competitive aggressive behaviour which was like a hot orb previously, ready to pounce on any opportunity to fight and war once psyched up, is already saturated and dispersed by many form of ‘distractions’.

Today, as humanity evolved, the hot orb in us begin to saturate, and we became a little bit ‘Buddha’ (peaceful). We start to realized how stupid war is once we stop attaching ourselves to that intense emotion and see the big picture a little. However, I’m sure the people in the past will thought war was the right thing to do. I will give an analogy – think back on the dumbest or silliest thing you did when you were a teenager. Now that you think back, you may wonder why did you made such action which clearly embarrassed you. But back then in that heat of the moment, you most probably think what you did was the right decision.

So What?

Personally, I’m a huge fan of Rafael Nadal and I would never miss his games whenever he plays with a top player. Then on a random day, while watching Nadal’s game, I asked myself a question – What do I gain by spending hours of watching Nadal and tennis in general? Apart from the satisfaction of watching Nadal winning, what else do I gain? Absolutely nothing. I will not become a great tennis player by just watching him. He will not share with me his prize money if he wins the tournament. My kung-fu will not improve after watching his game. I will not become famous by supporting Rafa – I’m just one of the million fans. So what is exactly the rationale of me becoming a fan of Rafa? Think properly – None. Only some temporary satisfaction.

Then I realized there are many things that we do everyday which is also pretty much meaningless. Why do people watch TV series? Why do people play computer games or console games? Why do we play sports with friends? Why do people eat snacks? Why do people go to shopping centers and aimlessly walk around? Alcohol? Cigarettes?  Why do I like reading manga and Naruto?

Are there any rationale in the sense it will gives us very clear tangible benefits in indulging these activities?

Alas, I realized all these trivial things that we do everyday is meant to saturate our core instinct.

Written by elan85

February 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Posted in Philosophy, Psychology